


You Went Too Far (to work our way back) - Reprise

by madlaw



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: & completely consensual, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Break Up, Canon-Typical Violence, Don't worry I hate Man-Hell & he's not touching our girls, F/F, Friendship/Love, Jealousy, Lesbian Sex, Lies, Mistaken Identity, Possessive Behavior, Post-Break Up, Project Cadmus, Reconciliation, Red Kryptonite, Relationship Negotiation, Rough Sex (barely), The DEO | Department of Extra-Normal Operations, of a sort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2019-03-19 14:28:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13706355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madlaw/pseuds/madlaw
Summary: Kara and Lena have been dating for almost six months and are on the verge of moving in together. Lena still doesn't know, or really suspect, Kara is Supergirl. Under the influence of Red K, Supergirl visits Lena at L-Corp one night and they fuck. Lena believes she's cheated on Kara and when Kara's cured she agrees. Because as far as Lena knew, shewasfucking someone else. Kara doesn't see a way back for them and Lena believes she never deserved Kara anyway.





	1. Say No To This (I don't know how)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JeezusGut](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JeezusGut/gifts).



> This story was birthed by an eponymously named short-story I wrote back in October of last year. It was barely 5,000 words. It started out with one chapter, but people complained about the ending so I added a second chapter. But it glossed over the angst, the struggles, the growth. (In fact I deleted the second chapter to the original work and left it as I originally intended. Heart-breaking but genuine.)
> 
> JeezusGut called me out on it. They took the time to create an outline and share it with me. I said then I would write that story. It took me a bit but here it is. It belongs to JeezusGut as much as myself. 
> 
> Chapter titles and summaries inspired by Alexander Hamilton, the musical. You'll also recognize excerpts of some of the best (in my opinion) dialogue from the show.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the ride. Once I started writing it, I literally wrote like I was running out of time-writing for 18-20 hours over three days. But regardless, I welcome all constructive comments!
> 
> Feed the author!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I said, "Well, I should head back home,"  
> She turned red, she led me to her bed  
> Let her legs spread and said: stay
> 
> That's when I began to pray:
> 
> (Lord, show me how to say no to this) {Say no to this}  
> Tonight (I don't know how to say no to this) {Say no to this}  
> ('Cause the situation's helpless)  
> Helpless  
> (And her body's screaming, "HELL YES!")
> 
> -Say No To This, Hamilton

_Now..._  

"The thing is...you wanted Supergirl and tonight your wish came true.  But Kara’s the one who loved you all along…and it wasn’t enough.  _I wasn't enough_. _”_

Lena will never forget those words or the heartbreak in Kara’s eyes.  She’s thrown it all away, thoughtlessly, in one hormone-ridden moment.  Everything she’s ever wanted… and she can’t blame anyone but herself. 

 

* * *

 

 _Earlier tonight..._  

Lena’s exhausted.  She’s been working late and barely seen her girlfriend all week.  But Kara waits for her at home.  Well, at Lena’s penthouse.  Over the last five months they’d slowly started spending most of their time there and Lena plans on asking Kara to move in with her.

Lena never thought she’d be so lucky.  She’d fallen in love with Kara Danvers so easily, it terrified her.  She’d tried to fight it for almost a year.  If Kara hadn’t kissed her all those months ago they’d probably still be dancing around each other, ignoring the chemistry between them, and exasperating everyone around them.

Lena isn’t naive enough to think Kara’s perfect, but she’s perfect for Lena.  She floods all the dark corners of Lena’s heart with light and brings peace to her soul.  She accepts Lena, giving her unconditional love, her protection, her support, and a kindness Lena never knew existed.

So Lena’s happier than she’s ever been, even with all the recent challenges at L-Corp and the criminal antics of her family.  She has the love of the most remarkable woman she’s ever met.  But like everything else she touches, she destroys it.

 

* * *

 

The sky is free of clouds and the moonlight casts a soft white glow reflecting off Lena’s desk, providing just enough light to reveal the outlines of the sparse furniture in her office.  The white sofa takes on a bluish hue, like fresh snowfall, as the light and shadows mix throughout the generous space.

Lena shuts her computer and picks up her phone to call her driver when Supergirl lands on her balcony.  Late night visits from the superhero are not uncommon, but she longs to get home to Kara.  So when she opens the sliding glass door, she intends to keep it brief.

Supergirl strides inside without invitation. 

“Supergirl, it’s rather late to be working...”

“I could say the same for you Ms. Luthor,” the hero smirks cockily; a dark gleam in her eye Lena’s never seen before. 

“Fortuitous wouldn’t you say,” she asks playfully, as she leans on Lena’s desk, invading her personal space.

Lena arches an eyebrow.  She’s never met this Supergirl, the one devouring her with hungry eyes.  It sends a chill racing down her spine straight to her pussy.

Supergirl's eyes flick to Lena’s full lips as she steps even closer.  The confident CEO means to back away.  She means to ask what’s going on.  But before she gets the chance, Supergirl’s giving her a charming smile, deliberately obliterating her personal space, her breath warm on Lena’s mouth.  “I think we should take advantage of this lucky coincidence,” she whispers huskily. 

Lena shivers and starts to respond, but Supergirl seizes the moment to claim her lips, nibbling and teasing and conquering.  Lena succumbs without thought.

The hero demands entrance to her mouth and it’s granted freely.  She lifts Lena, her strong arms gripping her thighs, Lena’s guttural groan echoing while Supergirl explores her ass, her back, gripping her neck and sucking possessively at her pulse-point.

Lena groans inaudibly to anyone without super-hearing, “no…we shouldn’t…”  She tries to focus on Kara, the love of her life waiting for her at home.  But her voice lacks confidence.  She sounds like a woman wanting to be persuaded. 

Supergirl pulls away, feigning confusion, as she trails a finger from the hollow at Lena’s throat to her cleavage, staring intensely with red-tinged eyes. 

“Why?  Don’t you want this?  Don’t you want me to ravish you, Ms. Luthor?  Don’t you want to feel what it’s like to be fucked by a Super?” she teases mischievously with a mocking taint.

Lena can’t deny it.  Yes—a part of her craves what will undoubtedly be the hero's powerful fuck.  She’s harbored a crush since the first time Supergirl rescued her.  Not a crush born of affection, but one stoked in lust.  Lena craves the power, the dominance. 

“Tell me to go and I will,” Supergirl taunts as she stands utterly still.

But Lena’s whimper and desperate hold tell the story more effectively than words.

Supergirl sits her almost gently on her desk, which contrasts sharply with the tearing of Lena’s blouse a second later.  She steps back, drinking Lena with her eyes like she’s an oasis in the desert.  “You’re absolutely stunning,” she breathes seductively. 

Her eyes dare Lena to end their game and Lena means to stop it before they go any further, but instead she yanks Supergirl down and submits, her body an offering on the altar of a goddess.

Supergirl uses her super-speed to strip Lena until the conflicted CEO lies naked on her desk with the hero biting kisses along her collarbone, tugging on her nipples, licking down her torso, and Lena can’t think through the lustful haze fogging her mind, but she knows she’ll be covered in bruises, evidence of her betrayal littering her body.

“Tell me what you want Luthor,” she growls, a threat more than a promise.

“Just shut up and fuck me,” Lena bites out.

The hero instantly ceases her attentions, sharply gripping Lena's hair until Lena’s forced to meet her eyes.  Liquid desire rushes between Lena’s thighs and there’s no disguising her ardent arousal.  

“You will not speak to me with that tone of voice,” the hero commands harshly. 

“Now.  Do you want me to fuck you?  Or leave you here?”  She asks indifferently, like Lena’s just some random slut she picked up at a bar. 

“Yes—please,” Lena pleads as she bows her head in something akin to shame.

Supergirl releases her grip abruptly and steps back.  “On your stomach and spread your legs,” she demands staunchly.

Lena obeys, sealing her fate.  There’s no coming back—Kara will never forgive her.  But her body’s a raging inferno and she's weak.  She never deserved Kara anyway.

The hero surprises her with gentle kisses across her shoulder blades and down her backbone, but they morph to bruising bites and coarse licks on her ass.  She writhes with pleasure, struggling impotently against the Super's dominance.  But she craves it.

“Tell me how hard you want me to fuck you,” Supergirl orders harshly, “tell me you want me to ruin you for anyone else, Luthor.”   

Lena whines with need, assenting silently, but the hero expects an answer, pulling Lena’s hair forcibly, biting sharply on her earlobe. 

“Answer me Luthor—or I’ll leave you dripping wet and ruing the day you passed up your chance to be claimed by a Super,” she threatens knowingly.

“I—want—it—rough—and deep—and fast—just—please—take me!” she gasps with eager abandon.

Supergirl takes her from behind without warning.  But Lena barely feels her, she’s so wet, two fingers won’t suffice.  “More—please—I—need—more” she urges licentiously.

“So much for loyalty,” the superhero quips smugly. 

Lena bites her lip almost hard enough to bleed.  She wants to tell the Super to shut-up.  She doesn’t want to remember how she’s betraying Kara with every touch, every thrust of someone else’s hand into her greedy cunt.

The wet sounds of her corruption, along with her ceaseless moans, suffuse the silent office as Supergirl adds two more fingers, using super-speed to continue fucking her conquest.  Lena sees stars as she feels the ardent pounding through every inch of her body.  She’s so close, it’s too much, but not enough and she can’t string together a coherent thought when the Super starts scissoring her fingers, her thumb vibrating against Lena's clit with inhuman speed as she gives Lena the bang of her life. 

Everything explodes in a white-hot flash as Lena’s orgasm rips through her mercilessly.  She’s never come so intensely or so interminably.  She’s totally undone, wrecked.  Supergirl removes two fingers and slows to human speed, still invading Lena's sex, but ignoring her clit. 

“You’re going to come for me again,” she schools Lena aggressively, daring Lena to defy her.  It’s not a question, but Lena knows she can stop this at any time simply by saying no. 

The hero crooks her fingers just right, dragging her digits achingly over Lena’s g-spot unhurriedly and relentlessly until Lena’s screaming her name and trembling.    

She lifts and imprisons Lena against her chest single-handedly, while sucking Lena’s abundant arousal from her skillful fingers. 

“Your pussy tastes divine, did you know that?” she asks nonchalantly with a haughty grin. 

Her next kiss is uncompromising and carnal as she hums in Lena’s ear.  “Who knew a Luthor would beg to be fucked by a Super?” 

Lena wants to tell her to fuck off, wants to slap her, but she finds herself on the couch, hands gripped tightly, Supergirl’s mouth working between her legs, placing violent kisses on her thighs.  Cerulean eyes lock on jade and Lena catches crimson flashing in pupils blown wide. 

“I will mark you.”  Supergirl warns indifferently.  Lena responds by thrusting her hips against the hero's egotistical mouth.  But in the next second she moans as the goddess kisses her clit, greedily-lashing her folds.  A moment later she throws her head back in ecstasy as the hero tongue-fucks her into incoherence.  “Fuck—yes!” 

She immediately grips the Super's hair, jerking her tightly to her throbbing sex.  Supergirl allows it and Lena’s shrill cries wrench uncontrollably from her throat.  “Please!  Oh god!  More!” 

The hero shows mercy and sucks Lena’s clit into her mouth.  Lena trembles, but it’s nothing like the violent quaking when the Supper vibrates her tongue and drives her closer to the edge.  Lena’s on the brink— “Beg.”

Lena’s desire battles with her sudden anger—she’s begged enough.  But the Super denies Lena her tongue and she immediately begs without conscious consent. 

“Please—I’m begging you!—let me come—I’ll do anything you say!” 

Lena's instantly rendered mute, shattered with extreme pleasure bordering on pain. 

She loses track of time and when she regains her composure Supergirl’s towering over her sporting a narcissistic smirk.

“I will admit Luthor—you’re the best fuck I’ve ever had.  Scream my name anytime for a repeat performance,” she winks. 

“Say hi to Kara for me” and then she’s gone.

Numbness steals through Lena's veins.  Kara.  What has she done?  She forces herself up and showers in her private bathroom, dressing in her spare outfit and texting her driver.

 

* * *

 

 _Between then and now..._  

Kara’s not home when Lena arrives.  She pours herself a scotch and slumps onto the couch to wait.  The tears start and she doesn’t even try to stop them.  She’s not sure how long she's sat there when she hears Kara’s key in the lock.  She looks into Kara’s eyes and it’s instantly obvious.  Kara knows.  Lena sees the pain and disillusionment, the utter devastation. 

The Super rubbed it in Kara' face, the same way she’d taunted a naked Lena once she slaked her thirst.  But still, Lena doesn’t blame the superhero.  Supergirl didn’t betray anyone.  She knows Kara, but they’re not friends.  They’re not lovers in a monogamous relationship.

Kara sits across from her and takes a deep breath.  “I want to hear it from you.”

Lena looks her straight in the eyes, tears streaming, regret etched on her face.  “I let Supergirl fuck me tonight.”

Kara slowly nods once.  “Why?”

Lena shakes her head guiltily, but Kara deserves an answer.  “It was my fantasy since the first time she rescued me.  I wanted her to dominate me.  Tonight she offered to fulfill it.  I let her.” 

Lena doesn’t make any excuses.  She doesn’t plead for forgiveness or claim weakness.  She doesn’t make empty promises or pretend she can make Kara feel better.

“So what do you want now Lena?”

Lena looks at her in confusion, not even daring to hope.  She won’t demean Kara by expecting her to excuse Lena’s behavior.  So they sit quietly for awhile, until Kara stands.  She unbuttons her shirt purposefully and Lena gasps, horrified at the implications.

“I was going to tell you on our sixth-month anniversary.  I don’t know why I picked that exact date.  It has nothing to do with me or you.  Really it was about everyone else, my friends, my family, my colleagues.  So they’d have time to see you were worthy of my trust, my love, my faith.  So they could see the real you the way I see you.

Maybe it was wrong of me to keep it from you for so long.  Maybe you consider it a betrayal or a lack of trust.  You have the right to be upset.  We’ve known each other almost two years and even before we fell in love, you were my best friend.  You deserved to know.  You’d earned the right. 

But that’s where I’m stuck Lena, because you _didn’t_ know.  You thought Supergirl was someone else, someone _not_ me.  So what am I supposed to do with the knowledge technically you didn’t betray me, but you _would_ have?”

“Kara, I…”

“Stop Lena.  I was there.  You never even said my name.  You begged her—well me, to fuck you.  I guess that’s where I went wrong.  I gave you my love, maybe I should’ve made you beg for it.”

“It was you…”

“Yes and no.  I am Supergirl.  But tonight I was under the influence of red kryptonite.  It brings out a Kryptonian’s darkest thoughts and anger and eliminates all inhibition.  But even in my deepest, darkest self, there’s only love and desire for you.  I could never take you against your will.  Nothing in the universe could make me hurt you.” 

Lena marvels at how Kara says it so matter-of-factly.  But Lena knows it to be true.

“The last time I was under the influence of red kryptonite, before you moved here, I threw Cat Grant off a balcony.  I broke my _sister’s_ arm Lena.  But you…I’m so lost in love with you, all I wanted was hot sex.” 

“Kara, I will not make excuses.  Now that I know though, it makes more sense to me.  Maybe I’m deluding myself to try and ease my guilt, but it’s why the attraction was so intense.”

“There are over seven billion people on earth Lena.  There’s at least one or two out there either of us could be intensely attracted to, don’t you think?  Am I just supposed to hope you don’t cheat on me?”

“I would never betray you.”

“How can you make that promise, Lena?  How can I believe you?”

“Because it was a mistake and despite all the despicable things I’ve done, I learn from my mistakes.”

Lena’s never seen Kara so expressionless, so _absent_.

“I hope that’s true.  I hope the next person who falls in love with you…the next person you love…will be enough. 

The thing is...you wanted Supergirl and tonight your wish came true.  But Kara’s the one who loved you all along…and it wasn’t enough.  _I wasn't enough_. _”_

Lena knows she’ll never be in love with anyone else.  She’s never been in love with anyone but Kara. 

“If you’re ever in danger Lena, I will come for you.  I will always protect you.  I will always defend you.  Those things will never change.  But we're done—there's no more _us_.” 

Kara places her lips to Lena’s forehead for a few seconds and squeezes her arm gently.  “Goodbye Lena.  I love you.” 


	2. Working Through The Unimaginable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don’t pretend to know  
> The challenges we’re facing  
> I know there’s no replacing what we’ve lost  
> And you need time  
> But I’m not afraid  
> I know [you're my sanctuary]  
> Just let me stay here by your side  
> That would be enough
> 
> -It's Quiet Uptown, Hamilton

Two weeks later the inevitable happens. 

“Kara,” she hears Alex through her com, “gunshots reported at L-Corp.”

“On my way Alex,” she replies flatly.

Alex knows Kara and Lena broke up, but Kara refuses to talk about it.  Alex put together a timeline and she strongly suspects something happened when red kryptonite reared its ugly head and infected Kara again.  But Kara refuses to talk about it other than to say she’ll never forgive herself.

She arrives just in time to stand between Lena and a disgruntled employee whom Lex fired because of his alien heritage.  She catches the bullet in the split-second before it tears through Lena’s heart and snatches up the would-be assassin, ratcheting through the sky to the DEO, dumping him for Alex to deal with.

Lena’s eyes haunt her for the rest of the day, leaving Kara with a twisted creeping feeling.  Instead of their usual chartreuse, Lena’s eyes lacked their bright fiery light, like the vivid color had been washed, over and over, a shadow of its former self—less like a gemstone and more Swamp Thing—dim with resignation.  She thought she detected a glimmer of hope, but it was so brief she must’ve imagined it.

 

* * *

 

When Kara hears the insistent knocking, she knows its Alex without looking.  She tries to ignore it, but her sister just keeps knocking.  “I know you can see me Kara; either open the door or I’ll use my key,” she warns resolutely.

Kara sighs and drags herself from the couch, opening the door without a backwards glance and resuming her post in front of the television.  Hopefully Alex won’t ask what she’s watching because although Kara’s spent the last two hours plopped in front of the set, she has no idea what’s playing.

Alex grabs a beer from the fridge and settles next to her.

“Kara, please tell me what’s wrong.  I want to help.  You’re not the indifferent Supergirl I’ve seen over the last two weeks.  I’ve tried to give you space, but Kara you need to deal with whatever turned you so inside out.  Ignoring it won’t work.  You’ll explode when you least expect it and that could be dangerous for everyone.”

Kara snaps and practically rages at her sister.  “I may be bulletproof Alex, but my heart’s not!  I’m entitled to my feelings,” she bites out.

Alex stands and stares at her sister before speaking, but Kara refuses to meet her eyes.  “Okay.  This is done.  I am tired of walking on egg shells.  I’ve given you time, without prodding, without making you talk about Lena.  I’ve let it slide when you skip sister night and let you throw your pity party uninterrupted.”

“My pity party,” Kara asks with outrage.

“I know you’re hurting—” Alex starts.

“No!  You don’t know anything.  You’ve never lost the love of your life!”  Kara sneers.

“Okay, then tell me what it feels like, Kar.  Please just let me help.  Let me help you get over her.”

“Get over her?  I’ll never—” Kara sighs with a resigned shake of her head.  “You know what, forget it, it doesn’t matter.”

“Kara, you’re not letting yourself feel anything.  You’re bottling it up and making bad decisions.  You’ve gone MIA at CatCo when you finally got the job you’ve always wanted!”

“CatCo isn’t the point anymore.”

“You spent years working your way up to be a reporter and suddenly it’s a waste of time,” Alex scoffs.  “I would love to see you tell Cat Grant.”

Kara rolls her eyes and scowls.  “Cat moved on, why can’t I?”

Alex hears the feeling of abandonment in Kara’s words and she hurts for her sister.  In many ways, Cat was the center of Kara’s life.  She mentored Kara and guided Supergirl, and then from one day to the next, she’s gone and Kara’s morphed Cat’s seeking her next challenge into Cat not caring.

“Kara, it’s like you’re trying to rend from your existence everything that makes you, _you_.”

“If you lost Maggie—what would you be doing Alex?”  Kara challenges derisively.

Alex stutters not able to think of a quick response.

“You’d be at a bar every night, a wreck at work.  You’d be broken,” she lashes out.

“I would and I would be…and it’s okay if you are too,” Alex whispers empathetically.

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore Alex.  If you have an update about work, I’d love to hear it.  Otherwise—” she trails off but makes her point clear.

Alex makes one more attempt to get through to her sister.  “Kara Danvers is my favorite person.  She saved me more times than Supergirl ever could, so think about that when you’re trying to get rid of her.”

 

* * *

 

It’s been three weeks since the rescue when Kara drags her feet, at a very human pace, to L-Corp.  She’d fought Snapper, practically begged him to send someone else, but he made it clear in no uncertain terms it was the interview or her job.  Evidently Lena still refuses to speak with anyone from CatCo except Kara.

Earlier today Cadmus leaked a video showing Lena working on anti-alien weaponry in a lab indisputably littered with anti-alien tech.  Although not specifically naming Lena, Cadmus undoubtedly hoped it’d sway more humans to their cause.  After all, if the most visible pro-alien symbol secretly works to destroy them, aliens must represent a more nefarious threat than previously touted.

Kara knows Cadmus doctored the video and Winn’s currently analyzing it for proof.  She’d hoped they could confirm it before her interview with Lena, but she’d delayed as much as possible, until Snapper found her hiding in the copy room and escorted her to the elevator murmuring curses about bias and idealism, with a stern warning he expected her back in 30 minutes _with_ the quote or not bother coming back at all.

An elevator ride that used to drag seems to fly, not stopping at any other floor.  Jess greets her professionally without an ounce of warmth.

“Ms. Danvers, please take a seat.  Ms. Luthor’s still on a conference call.” 

Kara used to be ushered in to wait on the couch in Lena’s office until the CEO finished her call, but either Lena restricted Kara’s access or Jess is exercising her limited power to express her displeasure at the reporter’s absence over the last five weeks. 

If Lena’s broken eyes were any indication, the astute assistant knows they’ve broken up and from there it’s an obvious leap Kara’s the one who caused the heartbreak.  Kara knows Lena would never discuss their break-up with Jess, but her absence at L-Corp coupled with Lena’s demeanor provides all the evidence needed to convict.

Ten minutes later Jess glances at her phone and without a word waves dismissively towards Lena’s office.

Kara takes a deep breath and steals herself, knocking tentatively.  She expects to hear Lena asking her to enter, but a moment later she opens the door.  Kara hears the moment Lena’s heart starts to race although the CEO remains outwardly unruffled.  By the time she takes a seat behind her desk, she’s calmed.

Kara thought she’d prepared for when their eyes met.  But she’s so wrong, so _agonizingly_ mistaken.  All the love she feels for Lena slams into her heart like Vartox’s axe and she’s deafened by the blood rushing through her ears.  She stares, mute, her mind fuzzy, finally focusing on the view out the balcony doors.  The one she’d frequently used to visit her girlfriend.

“ _Kara_ …”  Lena utters, her ex’s name heavy on her tongue.

Kara realizes she stopped breathing when she sat down and takes a deep breath, exhaling sharply.

“ _I’m sorry_ —” she manages before stuttering to a stop.  Sorry—sorry things ended, sorry it’s so painful—sorry I never told you I was Supergirl—she’s _so_ sorry for so many things it’s momentarily overwhelming.  She clears her throat, gathering the strength to hold Lena’s gaze. 

Lena looks at her guardedly, but there’s still a glimmer of hope in her sad eyes.

“ _Kara, please, can we try…_ ” she rushes to get her words out, but Kara interrupts her more harshly than she intended.

“No.”  It’s cold and stiff and— ironclad.

Lena’s head snaps back at the vehemence of Kara’s response and Kara sighs.  “I think it’s better if we keep this professional,” Kara offers quietly.

“Better for whom, Kara?  You?  Because certainly not for me.  My heart breaks every day knowing I have no right to ask for your forgiveness, for a second chance, but my soul still prays you’ll give it,” Lena implores with watery eyes.

Kara wishes she could—her love for Lena not dulled by the short time they’ve been apart—but she knows mistrust would doom any attempt at reconciliation.  “Lena, for what’s its worth—I’m still in love with you.  I know it’s not any consolation but—I think I always will be.”

Lena shutters her eyes, refusing to let her traitorous tears fall.  “You’re right—it’s not.”

Kara realizes her cruelty, dangling love then snatching it away.  But more apologies would just add salt to the wound.

Lena’s monotone words accuse even as they address the reason Kara’s come to L-Corp.  “I know why you’re here, so let’s skip to the chase.  My quote.  ‘The video is doctored.  I am not now nor have I ever been xenophobic.  I will never, either personally or through my company L-Corp, participate in anti-alien weapons manufacture or foster anti-alien sentiment.’

Kara nods her head in silent thanks as she gathers her things.  Lena’s already focused on the spreadsheets covering her desk.  Kara hesitates, searching for something to say, but discretion proves the better part of valor as she walks away.

Lena sighs heavily the minute the door closes behind Kara, as she finally lets the tears fall.  She allows herself a few minutes to mourn, then pulls herself together.  She knows there’ll be plenty more tears as she lies alone in her bed tonight.

After a pensive moment she buzzes her assistant.  “Jess, please contact Snapper Carr.  Let him know he may send his technology and science reporter from now on.”

“Yes, Ms. Luthor.”

Lena decides it was a mistake to force a meeting by giving Kara no choice but to conduct the interview.  If Kara chooses to come next time, she’ll get through it.  But she’s not going to manipulate her again.

She wishes she could extinguish the last vestiges of hope her heart still harbors for a reconciliation, but she’s not there yet.  She won’t give up as long as she knows Kara still loves her.

 

Lena’s still working when Jess strides in and turns up the volume of the television hanging on the wall. 

“Jess, what—” but when she spots Supergirl holding a press conference, she doesn’t finish her question.

“Lena Luthor is not a member of Cadmus,” she states with conviction.  “She is my friend and an outspoken advocate of the alien community.  She’s proven it repeatedly and decisively.  The video leaked by Cadmus was doctored, the proof irrefutable.  The unaltered footage will be released to the media shortly.  Thank you.”

Supergirl takes to the skies without waiting for questions.

Kara Danvers returns to CatCo and slams her finished article on Snapper’s desk.  “I quit.”

 

* * *

 

It’s been eight weeks and Kara thinks the silence will drown her.  She can’t remember the time before she fell in love with Lena and she can’t imagine a time when she’ll stop.  She feels dead inside and nothing and no one can change it.

On the bright side, crime is down over 65%.  Kara disappeared and only Supergirl remains, the hero but not the beacon of hope; she just doesn’t have it in her anymore.

Winn and Maggie have tried to reach out to Lena, but they’re just a painful reminder of Kara and Lena subtly freezes them out.  Winn keeps trying for awhile, but Maggie understands, letting Lena know she’s there if she changes her mind.

Lena’s not faring much better—reduced to a worker drone: dispassionate, stiff, and unfeeling in her everyday interactions.  She’s lost weight, her eyes faded to the color of the kale Kara so emphatically hates. 

She goes to the penthouse, where she expected to live with Kara, sparingly.  She can’t stand to be there, but can’t stand to get rid of it for the same reason: the memories of Kara, of their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RANDOM CHAPTER TRIVIA:
> 
> The Swamp Thing (Dr. Alex Holland) is an anti-hero from the DC Comics’ universe. It can inhabit and animate vegetables anywhere, including alien plants, even sentient ones, and construct a new body. He re-grows damaged or severed body parts and can transport himself across the globe by leaving his current form, transferring his consciousness to a new form grown from whatever vegetable is handy in the location he wishes to reach.
> 
> Vartox is the first villain Supergirl fights. His axe is capable of cutting skin from Kryptonians. He worked for The Commander, one of General Astra’s underlings. She ordered him to kill Kara.


	3. Wait For It (love doesn't discriminate)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love doesn't discriminate  
> Between the sinners  
> And the saints  
> It takes and it takes and it takes  
> And we keep loving anyway  
> We laugh and we cry  
> And we break  
> And we make our mistakes  
> And if there's a reason I'm by her side  
> When so many have tried  
> Then I'm willing to wait for it  
> I'm willing to wait for it
> 
> -Wait For It, Hamilton

Kara feels she’s finally gotten a grip on her emotions, so when James suggested she meet their friends at the bar, she resolved to go.

 

It’s the time between happy hour and Friday night revelers, so the bar’s crowded enough to keep Mon-El busy— thank Rao—, his flirty hands useful for crafting cocktails and pulling beers if nothing else.  Kara spots the gang but decides to grab a drink first.  She takes a seat while she waits, the Daxamite childishly ignoring her while M’gann serves another patron.

An attractive brunette slips in between Kara and a grouchy alien and Kara helpfully scoots over.  The arrival’s raven hair partially obscures her features, but her sleeveless blouse showcases her um, _other_ assets.  Kara chastises herself, but can’t help but compare them to Lena’s.  The stranger fares poorly.  In Kara’s opinion Lena’s breasts complement her alluring body, whereas this woman’s loom over her waist disproportionately. 

Mon-El suddenly saunters over – indiscreet eyes checking out the stranger.  He smiles cockily after an inappropriate 30 second stare.  “Do you like blow jobs or sex on the beach?  I’m talking cocktails of course,” he smirks.

The object of his dubious affections ignores him.  Kara can admit he’s cute in a man-child frat boy kind-of-way, lame pick-up line included.  But his utter disrespect seems to set his latest target’s blood on fire.  Kara worries the unwilling kryptonite eyes, reminiscent but falling short of the ones Kara loves, will slay him on the spot.  But the woman just glares at him with narrowed eyes and a steely glint before turning to Kara. 

“What will you have?”

The sound of her voice tickles Kara’s ears not unpleasantly.  It’s smoky and knowing, if a tad bit annoying with its presumptuous tone.  Kara orders Aldebaran rum, suddenly feeling the need to calm her nerves, and the woman orders a scotch.

Her newly minted drinking buddy gives Kara an open smile as she extends her hand.  “Jordan Rouse, pleasure to meet you.”

Kara’s momentarily flustered before clasping the woman’s hand.  “Kara—Kara Danvers.”

The grumpy alien storms off over some comment by Mon-El and Jordan sits, the unyielding hard wood of the stool eliciting a murmured curse. 

Kara smiles.  “Not your usual hang-out?”

Jordan raises a perfectly shaped eyebrow and answers seductively, “Oh Ms. Danvers, you have _no idea_ where I’ve been.” 

There’s a slight hint of a London accent, sending a shiver down Kara’s spine and she quickly turns to wave down M’gann for another drink.  This time she orders a beer, catching James’ smirking look.  Kara’s friends and family think she’s naïve, but she recognizes Jordan’s subtle flirtation.  Instead of making her uncomfortable though, a slight thrill settles in her belly.

 

* * *

 

“Ms. Luthor?”  Jess buzzes early one morning.

“Yes?”

“Ms. Danvers is here to see you.”

Lena stops breathing and Jess immediately realizes her mistake.  “It’s Agent Danvers ma’am,” she whispers.  Jess still doesn’t know what happened.  No one at L-Corp does.  All they know is Kara Danvers stopped coming to L-Corp and Lena Luthor stopped smiling.

Jess hears Lena exhale softly.  “Send her in.”

Alex shrugs into a chair in front of Lena’s desk and stares.  Lena tries to wait her out, but there’s only one reason Alex Danvers would be in her office.

“Is Kara okay?”

Alex scoffs cruelly.  “She hasn’t been okay since the day you broke-up.  What did you do to my sister Luthor?”

Lena cocks her head.  “She never told you?”

“Obviously,” Alex sneers.

“You’ll have to ask her then.  I will say it was my fault and I will never forgive myself.”

Alex jerks out of her chair and starts pacing.  “That’s not good enough Lena!  She says the same thing in reverse!”

A few seconds later security floods her office.  Lena sends them out with instructions not to return until Agent Danvers leaves, no matter what they hear coming from her office.

“Alex,” Lena softens.  “Don’t you think I’d be by her side in a heartbeat if she’d let me?” 

Lena ignores the second part of Alex’s comment.  She’s not at all surprised Kara blames herself.  Lena even knows why.  Kara believes if she’d told Lena her secret sooner, none of it would’ve happened.  It’s true.  Lena would’ve never ‘cheated’ with Supergirl.  But does that mean she’d never have cheated?

Lena’s thought a lot about what she did and why.  In the end, her insecurities and self-sabotaging behavior tore them apart.  Lena understands it now.  It wasn’t about Supergirl at all.  Lena just never believed Kara really loved her.  She never believed she deserved to be loved.  All her self-loathing prevented her from accepting Kara’s devotion.

She’s been trying to work on it—her mostly unrealistic and futile hope for Kara’s forgiveness keeping her motivated.  It’s the only thing saving her from utter despair.

Alex closes her eyes and exhales slowly.  “Lena, Kara’s…she’s just not there anymore…my sister’s a ghost,” she whispers despairingly.  “If it weren’t for her Kryptonian physiology I’m convinced she’d be hospitalized by now.  What the hell happened to you two?”

Lena just shakes her head.  Her eyes water, but she’s become an expert at holding back the tears.

Alex sits back down and leans her arms on Lena’s desk.  “Look Lena, you know it’s bad if my sister’s not letting me help her.  You know how close we are—or were at this point.  It’s not like it’s just been a few days or even weeks.  It’s been months Lena, and Kara’s broken and she won’t let me help her.  Did you know she quit CatCo?”

Lena sighs.  “I didn’t at first, but when I didn’t see her byline in several weeks I had Jess call.  James’ assistant told her.” 

Lena hesitates.  “I tracked Cat down in her yurt in Bhutan.  Kara wouldn’t take her calls.”

Lena hears her phone buzz as her door swings open.  Alex puts her hand on her gun—and in strolls Cat Grant.

“Ugh Luthor, I can’t believe you don’t have a private elevator.  What’s the point of owning the building?”

Lena arches an eyebrow and Alex just stares.

Cat rolls her eyes.  “It’s not an episode of the Twilight Zone.  I'm on sabbatical, not dead.”  She looks distastefully at Lena’s sofa before sitting down daintily and crossing her legs.

“Now.  Who broke Kiera?”

Lena and Alex look at each other and speak at the same time.  Alex points at Lena, “she did.”  She’s completely unrepentant at throwing Lena under the bus.  Cat Grant scares even the normally unflappable Agent Danvers.

“It’s complicated,” Lena blurts out.  She’s Lena Luthor, but the older woman still intimidates her— especially when it comes to Kara.  Cat will never admit it, but she loves Kara Danvers. 

“I’m sorry.  I didn’t realize I interrupted my utter bliss to babysit.  Please—direct me to the grownups,” Cat mocks.

She clears her throat when she has their attention.  “I have brokered peace between world leaders and egomaniacal pop stars, so I think fixing Kiera should be a piece of cake.  Explain the problem.  Chop, chop,” Cat prompts, waving her hands at them imperiously. 

“I’ll think of a solution and explain it to Kiera—the sooner the better so I can get back to my happy place.”

Cat and Lena stare at each other for a minute, and then Cat looks at Alex.  “You’re the sister right?”

Alex nods in confirmation, although it wasn’t really a question, and Cat waves towards the door.  “We’ll call you if anything needs shooting.”

Alex looks at Lena.  “It’s okay Alex.  I’ll call you later.” 

Alex leaves in confusion but with more hope than she’s had in months.  She knows how much Kara respects Cat Grant.

“Tell me everything Luthor and don’t even dream of skimping on the details.”  Cat commands—and Lena does.

 

* * *

 

“Kara?” she hears in a vaguely familiar voice.

“Yes?”

“Hi, it’s Jordan.  James gave me your number.  I hope you don’t mind me calling,” she offers smoothly.

“Yes—I mean no, its fine.  How are you?”

“Well I’ve been thinking about you and I wonder if you’re free tomorrow night?”

Kara’s knee-jerk reaction says ‘absolutely not’ but she bites her tongue before blurting it out.  “Uh, sure…”

“Great!  Will you have dinner with me?  There’s also a showing at a gallery my friend owns and if you’re interested we can swing by afterwards.”

“Sounds good.”

“Okay, text me your address and I’ll pick you up around 7 if that works?”

Kara knows short of a Supergirl emergency any time works since she quit CatCo and she can’t plan for those, so she agrees.

“Oh, and Kara?  I can’t wait to see you.”  The gravelly voice from the bar reappears and Kara finds she’s more interested than she’d thought before Jordan's call.

 

* * *

 

Normally Kara would stress about her outfit, calling Alex for last minute suggestions.  With Lena she’d never stopped dressing to impress, always wanting the important CEO to be proud with Kara by her side.  So she’s a little surprised when the expected butterflies fail to materialize. 

She decides on black pants with a royal blue blouse and flats.  Lena would say the top brings out the blue in Kara’s eyes.  She applies minimal makeup, her tastes leaning towards the natural, and spends the rest of the time before Jordan’s arrival trying to push Lena out of her mind.    

“Hi Kara, you look lovely,” Jordan compliments as she hands Kara a beautiful bouquet of flowers.

“Thanks, uh—so do you.”  Kara steps aside and Jordan enters, curiously admiring the space. 

“Let me just put these in water and we can go,” Kara tells her.  She’s not sure how she feels about a stranger in her space—about another woman with amorous intent where only Lena’d been before.  It feels— _not right_.  But Kara’s determined to give Jordan a chance.  So far, if tonight’s anything to judge by, she needs to move on before she slowly loses her mind.

 

* * *

 

The elegant restaurant also serves as a winery, with floor to ceiling wine racks and a sampling area.  Jordan slips her warm hand into Kara’s and leads her over for a private tasting.

They start with a subtle French white paired with sharp cheese and Jordan swirls her wine while the sommelier describes the vineyards, as well as the distilling process.  The glug and whistle of wine pouring through an aerator elicits a delightful laugh from Jordan and Kara finds herself charmed by her date.

“So are wines your passion?”  Kara asks inquisitively.

“I wouldn’t say they’re my passion, no—more a hobby.  My parents always enjoyed a glass or two with dinner and I guess they passed on their fondness to me,” Jordan replies easily, her pear-green eyes sparkling with remembered affection.

Kara’s distracted by Jordan’s elegant fingers gracefully pinching the delicate stem of her glass.  She looks up to Jordan’s gentle grin and her cheeks blush cayenne-red.  Luckily the host appears to show them to their table and she’s spared from further embarrassment.

Jordan speaks of her life with warmth and energy and she makes Kara laugh genuinely for the first time in months.  She’s also playful and attentive and they talk throughout dinner effortlessly.

“So would you like to visit the gallery?”

Kara checks in with herself, realizing she’s honestly having fun, and agrees enthusiastically.  She also appreciates the rare feeling of being flirtatiously emboldened.  “Of course—it’s already been a night of beauty.”

Jordan laughs, not shyly or demurely, but with true infectious mirth as they exit the restaurant and hail a cab.

 

* * *

 

Kara’s immediately drawn to a mural painted wall, feeling the artist’s emotions weaving through the lines and textures of the painting.  She studies the work for several long minutes in comfortable silence with Jordan by her side.  When she finally looks up, Jordan smiles at her warmly and hands her a glass of champagne.

They stop at a display of still life objects—pottery, old wine bottles, and even an antique tea set.  But while Kara recognizes the beauty inherent in such things, they’ve never interested her beyond their utility. 

They continue wandering through the rest of the gallery, but while the artworks are all compelling in their own way, nothing captures Kara’s imagination like the mural.

Kara hears who she assumes to be the artist muttering under his breath about ignorant pretenders with more money than taste.  She bursts out with a short laugh, before turning away with embarrassment.  But Jordan laughs with her as she calls over to the irritated man.  “Jamian, come meet my friend.”

His irritation melts away with a warm smile.  “Jordan!  Save me from the heathens,” he whispers dramatically, his red hair flaring vividly as if emphatically agreeing.

“I’m sorry Mr. DiCaprio, I didn’t realize we’re on a live set,” Jordan mocks her friend impishly.  He feigns annoyance, clasping Kara’s hand with calloused fingers.  “You must be Kara.  Jordan’s been enchanted since you two met!”

Kara likes him instantly, his gregarious nature refreshing in light of the stereotypical brooding artist.  She glances at Jordan perceptively, but finds her date amusedly unashamed of her obvious attraction to Kara.  She raises her eyebrows flirtatiously, but before Kara can blink Jamian sweeps her off to discuss his favorite painting.

Kara’s pleasantly exhausted as she asks Jordan up for a cup of coffee.  She knows Jordan’s classy enough to understand Kara’s not offering anything sexual and Kara’s enjoying her relaxed company, finding she’s not at all anxious for the evening to end just yet.

When Jordan mentions loving hot chocolate, Kara prepares mugs and they make their way to the couch.  They discuss their favorite books and as the conversation lulls, Jordan’s gazes intently into Kara’s eyes with a suggestive smile.

She moves slowly, never taking her eyes from Kara’s, her breath soft on Kara’s lips, her curious hand resting on Kara’s thigh. 

When their lips finally meet, Jordan sighs softly, beginning a tender exploration and Kara sinks into the feeling.  Jordan claims her mouth tenderly, caressing her upper lip with her tongue, tentatively asking for entrance.  The kiss feels wonderful, but there’s no spark, and Kara gently pulls away. 

She longs for Lena’s kisses and her sardonic wit.  She aches with memories of making love, sometimes sweet, sometimes rough, but always always imbued with their passion.  A fire blazed between them even before their first embrace.  It’s not something learned in time.

Jordan exhales a mirthless breath.  “There’s someone else.”

Kara nods without regret, knowing there’ll never be a second date.  “I thought I’d reached a place where I could take the first step in moving on, but it’s her.  It’ll always be her and I deserve better than settling and so do you.”

“I’m disappointed, but I’m still happy to have met you Kara Danvers.  Thank you for a memorable evening—but a word of advice born of personal experience.  Don’t wait until you reach that place.  It’s lonely there.”

 

* * *

 

Kara’s tormenting herself watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and wondering if she could get J’onn to wipe her memories of Lena.  But she’d never ask.  She doesn’t want to forget the woman she loves.

There’s a knock on the door and she groans.  It can only be Alex.  Kara took her key so now she’s forced to knock.  But when she looks through the door her brain short circuits.  Cat Grant stands impatiently in the hallway.  It’s not even a question—she super-speeds to the door.

“Ms. Grant!  What are you doing here?!”

“Evidently your phone no longer accepts long-distance calls and no one in National City can function in my absence,” she deadpans, but then takes a good look at Kara. 

“What's wrong with your face?”

“What?  Do I…do I have something?”  Kara reaches tentatively to her mouth.

“That frown Kiera.  It's causing little, tiny wrinkles to sprout up under your eyes.  The city has been saved from that fashion-challenged fascist.  So why do you look like your world is about to end?"

“It's, uh—it's personal.  While you've been away,” she pauses to swallow the lump in her throat that threatens to burst with the tears lying in wait behind her eyes, “I've been in a relationship."

Cat gasps in feigned shock.  “Kara Danvers has a girlfriend?!  A year in a yurt, and I miss everything!”

It doesn’t cross Kara’s mind to wonder exactly how Cat knows her love’s a woman.  “Had a girlfriend.  For the first time ever, I really liked someone—loved someone, and it didn't work."

“Mmh,” Cat nods empatheticly.

“It, um –“

“Hurts?”  Cat supplies when it seems Kara’s lost the word.

“Like hell.  I mean, everyone close to me is in a happy relationship, and I thought I could have that, too.  But I'm starting to think that maybe it's just not in the cards for me.”

Cat shakes her head like a woman whose been there done that.  “No.  Take it from a woman who has been married four times.”

“Four?”

“Well, it would've been five, but I turned down Rob Lowe.  Twice, actually.”

“It just feels like this pain isn't going to go away,” Kara breathes.

“Ah, well, that's what I said about childbirth.  But it did…and it will.  Now see, the thing that makes women strong is that we have the guts to be vulnerable.  We have the ability to feel the depths of our emotion, and we know that we will walk through it to the other side.

And by the way, you have accomplished great things this year.  Your articles on slavers moon, the alien registry and the fight club, I mean, it's all very powerful.  And your prose…your prose is…not bad.  I mean, it's not great, but it's not bad.”

Kara chuckles, but looks skeptical.  “You read them?”

“I did.  2017 and they have wi-fi in the Himalayan Mountains.  But you, my dear, are on a hero's journey.  Like Joseph Campbell would say, and yes, you have hit a bit of an obstacle, but you will soar right over it—just like I would.  Except, of course, you won't be wearing Louboutins.”

“Now—do you have any coffee?  Even on Air Force One, there isn’t a decent cup to be had.  You’d think Olivia could do something about it.  Heaven knows I complain often enough.” 

Kara frowns and looks away fidgeting.  She knows her coffee will never satisfy Ms. Grant.  She shows her the bag and Cat rolls her eyes. 

“Did I teach you nothing Kiera?  Crappy coffee has toxins in it that rob you of creativity and vigor.  You will need them when you resume your job at CatCo.  Put it on—what is it you call it—your grocery list.  You’re going to need it.”

“I’m happy to see you Ms. Grant, but I’m not going back to work at CatCo.”

“Oh?  Have you decided to draft the pro-alien leaflets they hand out on street corners?  They could certainly do with a good edit.  'Aliens are good' won’t persuade anyone but the cannibals.”

“I’m too busy.”

“Ah, yes, with your other job.  I was actually surprised to find there hadn’t been a mass exodus of law enforcement from National City.  It was the only reason I could see for Supergirl directing traffic and playing crossing guard.”

Cat sits on a stool at the kitchen island and studies Kara.

“Do you want to know the real reason why I left National City?  I wasn't happy.  So I asked Siri, ‘Where is the happiest place on Earth, Siri?’  And she answered ‘Bhutan.’  So, I booked my passage to the Himalayas and moved into a yurt.

Now, do you have any idea what is in a yurt?  Nothing.  Not even central air conditioning.  But these people, they are happy.  A child learns how to walk.  They sing.  A group of people come down from a hike from the mountains and they dance.  And a couple, they go on their first date and they throw a damn festival!

And all of a sudden, the secret to happiness just dawned on me.  It's human connection.  And I could conquer the world at CatCo, or I could twiddle my thumbs in the yurt and the loneliness would feel exactly the same, because I was missing the point.  It's not about what you do.  It's about who you love.

You love Lena and surprise, surprise she made a mistake. 

I don’t need to tell you about my track record with motherhood, proof enough that _everyone_ makes mistakes.

But Lena loves you too Kara.  Do you know how rare it is?  To find the kind of love you two share?  You helped me with Adam and now I’m returning the favor.  Talk to Lena.”

Cat stands and gathers her purse and coat.  She looks at Kara with understanding and love.  “Just don’t toss her to the moon.  I hear the space shuttle still has an oscillator problem.”

Kara walks Cat to the door and inhales deeply.  “I’ve really missed your advice, Ms. Grant.”

Cat smiles tenderly.  “And I've really missed giving it.  Now out of my way.  I need to catch a ride with Bruce and the bat detests tardiness.”

Cat steps into her limousine like a true royal.  She is the Queen of All Media after all. 

She hopes she was able to convince Kara to at least talk to Lena.  She’s never seen two people more in love or more stubborn.  If the two of them don’t get their act together and she has to come back here, she’ll buy L-Corp and send the Luthor to the mail room.  She’ll keep Kara close though—because well—she’s _Kara_ and next to Carter and Adam, Cat loves her best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RANDOM CHAPTER TRIVIA:
> 
> Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is a movie starring Jim Carey and Kate Winslet. When their relationship turns sour, they undergo a medical procedure to have each other erased from their memories. 
> 
> Joseph Campbell was an American mythologist who worked in comparative mythology and comparative religion. His work covers many aspects of the human experience


	4. Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But when you're gone, who remembers your name?  
> Who keeps your flame?  
> Who tells your story?
> 
> -Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story?, Hamilton

When Jess buzzes Lena informing her of James Olsen’s uninvited appearance, Lena makes him wait and considers making herself unavailable—indefinitely.  James, even after so much time and water under the bridge, still stands King, and sole member, of the Lena’s Evil (You’ll See) committee.  Where she’s earned a grudging acceptance from Alex and genuine friendship from Maggie, as well as achieved Tech God status with Winn and congeniality from Lucy, she and James barely tolerate each other.

He’s always quick, even eager, to assume the worst of Lena’s slightest transgression.  Not once, has he offered a kind word or given her the benefit of the doubt.  What could he possibly have to say that Lena would want to hear?  But curiosity’s always been her undoing.

“How may I help you Mr. Olsen,” Lena asks with fake politeness the moment James clears the door.  She doesn’t want him getting comfortable and intends to get rid of him as soon as her curiosity’s satisfied.

“I just wanted to see how you were doing after—well, you know, after everything,” he replies insincerely.

It takes every ounce of Luthor self-control to not call security and have him forcibly and embarrassingly removed and more restraint than that to remain outwardly impassive.

“Busy.  L-Corp CEO is not just my title.”  If she’s going to put up with his self-righteous presence, she’ll take her pound of flesh.  She idly wonders how long it’ll take Cat to rain fire down on him when CatCo stock free-falls after last quarter’s earnings are posted.

His smile’s strained, but Lena knows he’s about to sick a knife in her heart by the self-satisfied gleam in his piercing eyes.

“Busy’s good.  It devastated me when Lucy started dating again after we split, so I know it’s a tough pill to swallow.”

There it is…except the knife’s more like a sword.  Laced with C-4.  “Perhaps, but unless you’re applying to be my pharmacist, I’m not sure why you’re here,” she retorts with all the Luthor venom in her veins.

“Don’t be bitter Lena, I’m sure Kara will welcome your friendship eventually,” he gloats, not even trying to couch his poison in civility.  “She looked happy at the new art gallery opening,” he adds, tossing the society page on her desk. 

The page with a picture of a very smiling Kara Danvers with her alleged date, a smug-looking Jordan Rouse, a pretentious name if Lena’s ever heard one, as well as the owner of the gallery, Jamien, no last name apparently.

Well, never let it be said Kara doesn’t have a type.  If she didn’t before, she certainly does now.  The woman’s jet black hair and green eyes certainly strike a chord, although that’s where all similarities end.  If Kara’s going to date, she shouldn’t settle for a washed-out Lena look-alike.

Lena feigns indifference, taking it all in at a glance, and rolls her eyes.  She meets James’ eyes, filled with expectant glee, just waiting for Lena to break.  But it’ll be a cold day in hell when a Luthor shows the enemy any weakness.     

She discretely presses the panic button, while holding his stare, silently daring him to blink first.  So he’s caught off-guard when security rushes in and subdues him.  Lena’s smile is cold and deadly and something like fear wipes the glee from James’ eyes.

“Don’t come back James.  Or I promise—you’ll live to regret it.”  She nods dismissively at the guards and they drag a suddenly mute James out.

Lena slumps onto her chair, emotionally drained.  So.  Kara’s dating.  It’s really over.  But calling James a liar would be an understatement.  She needs to hear it from someone she trusts.  That woman, Lena refuses to say her name even in her mind, could just be a new friend.  Kara makes friends easily, she soothes herself.

 

* * *

 

“Little Luthor, I thought you’d lost my number,” Maggie answers playfully.  She knows outright affection from anyone except Kara makes Lena uncomfortable, but she’s a master of subtext.

Maggie hears Lena’s worried sigh and knows.  Lena knows about Jordan.  But who would—James.  Of course it was James.  Maggie tolerates him because he’s Alex and Kara’s friend, but she knows he’s a douche.  He struts around like an entitled hero, when he gets his ass kicked more often than not—a Superman wannabe.  Wait until Alex finds out—she’ll knock him into another dimension; no batteries or super powers required.

“I need to know Maggie.  I need to know if it’s true.  Is Kara dating?  Is it serious?”  She asks all in a rush before cowardice overwhelms her.

Maggie knows it’s not her place to tell Lena about Kara’s life.  She should stay out of it, if only for the sake of her own relationship with the older Danvers.  She should be neutral, like Switzerland.  Then again, Maggie’s never been very good at doing what she should.

“She went out on one date with one person.  Apparently it went very well, but she turned down a second date.  She told Alex she’s not ready to date anyone, even casually.  That’s all I know Lena.”

Lena thought ignorance would be worse.  But knowing Kara’s dipped her toe into the dating pool leaves her numb.  The sight of Kara in another woman’s arms utterly wrecks her.  

“Thank you Maggie.  I need—I need to go.”  Lena hangs up just as her first sob breaks.

 

* * *

 

Kara’s shocked when she opens the attachment on an email from Snapper.  The email itself puzzles her because it seems to have been forwarded to the news desk by Jess, Lena’s assistant.  But it’s irrelevant because now she’s furious, her anger reminiscent of the day Alex told her she killed Astra, not J’onn.

Lena’s moving L-Corp back to Metropolis.  Sam Arias, the new CFO, will take-over the day-to-day running of the National City office.  She doesn’t think.  Just speeds into her suit and flies.  Sound barrier be damned.

She lands on Lena’s balcony at L-Corp with an unrepentant thud.  Lena jumps, her first thought jumps to another assassin.  In the brief seconds before she turns, Supergirl never crosses her mind.  She blanches and her legs give.  She slumps onto her chair.

Kara doesn’t wait for an invitation or a greeting.  She storms inside all righteous fury and piercing words.

“What do you think you’re playing at Lena?!” she shouts with all her considerable might.

Jess bursts through the door at the commotion, but stops short when she sets eyes on Kara.  Jess knows the hero’s secret identity.  Of course she does.  How anyone who’s met Kara even once doesn’t figure it out in a hot second she’ll never know.

She glances at Lena who nods her head without taking her eyes off Kara.  Jess levels a glare at the superhero, completely unimpressed, before storming out to stop security from barging in—she pressed the panic button the second she heard what sounded like concrete cracking.  A sound she’s all too familiar with, unfortunately. 

As she rushes to intercept the very heavily armed men, she thinks at least her message had the intended effect.  She’s done all she can for the two idiots in love.  Now it’s up to them.  Hopefully her devious scheming won’t be for naught.  How does one kill a superhero?   

Inside her office Lena just stares, speechless.  Or rather speech-full.  So many thoughts race through her mind, questions to ask, things she longs to say—the minute she latches on to one it evaporates to be replaced by another just as ephemeral.

“Explain it to me Lena!  Enlighten me!  How does your rash decision benefit anyone?!” 

Even in her fugue-like state, Lena’s still lucid enough to wonder how Kara got a hold of a draft press release she’d yet to issue.  But that’s a question for another day.  Kara’s incessant pacing is wearing a hole in the floor, Lena’s sure, and that random thought finally snaps life back into her spine.

“Stop shouting and sit down, or leave.  You pick,” the ultimatum clear in her clipped tone.  She’s the CEO of a multi-national, billion-dollar corporation, not a love-sick millennial.  She just needs to keep reminding herself.

The cool words in juxtaposition to Kara’s angry voice seem to jar Kara onto the couch, back ramrod straight but lungs gasping for air.  She forgot to breathe while demanding an explanation from Lena.  Not once does it occur to Kara or Lena for that matter, that Kara’s not owed any explanation, especially not from her ex-lover.  Kara made the choice not only to break-up, but also to end their friendship.

“You explain something to me first Kara.  Why does it matter to you where I go?”  Lena challenges her for the first time since Kara left her. 

“You’ve made it perfectly clear you’re done with me.  In fact, even if not explicitly confirmed with words, everyone knows you’re done with me after the very public date you bragged went so very well,” she sneers.

Kara winces internally; the picture.  When she saw it in the paper, it occurred to her Lena might see it and it would hurt her.  A meaningless picture, taken on the first day she’d been out, hell the first day she’d laughed since the break-up.  She hadn’t seen the harm when it was taken, but there’s nothing for it now.  Although Kara’s insightful enough to recognize if it were Lena in that picture, a hole deep enough or a place far enough does not exist where Jordan could hide from her wrath.

She sighs with genuine pain in her eyes.  “I could never be done with you Lee,” she whispers.  “I’m still so angry, but I need you.  I need you in my life.”

Lena’s terrified.  She knows she may be opening herself up to a different world of hurt, knows they haven’t talked about what they need to, but it’s a sliver of a chance maybe Kara will come back to her.  She’ll do anything, be anyone if it means she keeps Kara in her life. 

“Well, you fooled me—but where does that leave us?  What do you want from me Kara?  Tell me and it’s yours,” she admits without shame.

“I want my best friend back.  Please don’t go.” 

They’re looking at each other for the first time in months but their connection snaps into place as if it never broke—a wordless conversation taking place between their eyes. 

“I’m willing to try Kara.  Will you?  Because I can’t do it all on my own.”

Kara knows Lena needs reassurance, but both of them have grown leery of words.  They’re too easy to say and even easier to break.

“I know you’re busy, but maybe we could join the gang at the bar?” 

Kara knows they need a buffer.  “I said I meet them there around eight.”

Lena nods her head slowly, searching Kara’s eyes.  “Okay.  I’ll see you there.”


	5. My Shot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I refuse to ever lose or throw my shot away  
> Or chalk it up as just another one that got away
> 
> So I'm unapologetic...  
> If I have given it all I got I cannot regret it
> 
> -My Shot, Hamilton Mixtape

When Maggie spots James swaggering to their table, she’s furious on Lena’s behalf.  He was told Lena would be joining them tonight.  He knows what he did, even if he thinks no one else does.  But yet here he stands—with a deceptive twinkle in his eyes.  The man knows no shame.

But Maggie knows and she’s not going to let him get away with hurting Lena again.  She stands abruptly, yanking him with her towards the pool table.  “Let’s knock some balls around,” she throws back off-handedly for the benefit of their friends. 

But the only balls Maggie’s interested in are the ones she’s going to crush between James’ legs.  Assuming she can find them.

He saunters to the rack to grab a cue, but Maggie traps it with her hand.  He looks down at her in confusion, but Maggie’s not intimidated.  She’s taken down bullies tougher than James. 

So when she glares at him, it’s all fire and brimstone.  “I know what you did to Lena,” she whisper-shouts. 

“So you’re going to go home and leave Lena alone—for good.  Or I can tell Alex and Kara what you did and they’ll make you leave—after they kick your disloyal ass.”

 “What are you talking about?  I did them both a favor, ripped off the band-aid.  You know sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind Maggie.”

Maggie wishes she’s surprised at his arrogance.  But she’s not.  Not even a little bit. 

“Don’t you even pretend, James,” she snarls.

“You know Kara’s still in love with Lena.  But you’re jealous, because she dumped you faster than she switches into her suit.  She never loved you the way she loves Lena and you can’t bear it,” she taunts him. 

“You also know, as sure as the rest of us, they will work it out eventually.”  She backs up a step and straightens her shirt casually. 

“So don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out,” she commands as she nods towards the exit nonchalantly.  She watches him as he stomps all the way to, and out, the door.

When she goes back to their table, Alex looks at her with suspicious eyes, but Maggie just shrugs.  “He remembered he needed to be somewhere.”

Alex stares a moment more, but drops it.  Maggie knows they’ll be coming back to it at home later and heads to the bar for some liquid courage.

 

* * *

 

Kara and Lena arrive at the same time. 

“Lena you look stunning!”  Kara blurts out, the blush of a setting sun darkening her cheeks.  But it’s not her fault.  It’s been a long time since she’d had the pleasure of Lena’s butch look, complete with leather jacket and boots.  Her raven hair floats in the slight breeze, the perfect mix of styled and care-free, and an insistent urge swells within Kara to run her fingers through it.

But she remembers Lena’s no longer hers to touch.  Not like that anyway.  She clears her throat awkwardly and opens the door. 

Lena knows better than to think much of it.  It’s a habit Kara will break now they’re friends again.  Anyway Lena’s busy making a conscious effort not to stare at Kara’s powerful biceps, but the tight tank-top she’s wearing leaves very little to the imagination.

“Obi-Wan!”  Winn squeals in excitement.  “The force is strong once again,” he intones somberly.  But he can’t hold it for long and then he’s just smiling wide at his friend. 

“You’ve yet to master your limbs, much less the force,” Lena deadpans, but then her smirk breaks free.

Her playful banter sends Winn’s joy soaring.  Lena’s his tech God—fellow nerd and sci-fi enthusiast.  No one else matches them in sheer devotion to the Star Wars franchise.  In fact, should you even imply, unknowingly, unintentionally, and in the vaguest terms possible, the movies aren’t the most significant mythopoeia of the times, Lena and Winn will drown you in all the artistic, imaginative, spiritual, and intellectual reasons why they are—with fervor generally reserved for life and death situations they all too frequently face.

Lena’s never been so thankful for Winn.  He’s single-handedly broken the ice and saved them all from any unease they’d of felt otherwise.

Alex’s relieved Kara and Lena are at least talking again.  A smile from Lena and Kara’s eyes light up like fireworks on Independence Day.  A heavy weight lifts from Alex’s shoulders as she enjoys her sister’s unmitigated delight.  She sighs happily for the first time in months. 

“First round’s on me, but leave your wallet out Luthor, because the rest are on you,” Alex announces devilishly, following up with a joke.  “We’ve really missed you Daddy Warbucks!”

Lena beams at the teasing, grateful for the ease with which her friends welcome her back.  She’ll buy drinks indefinitely just for the chance to feel the warmth of people who genuinely care about her—and for the love and safety she still feels in Kara’s presence.

It’s only been a half-hour since Kara and Lena arrived, but their friends are already rolling their eyes at the number of furtive glances exchanged.  They’re all baffled by the break-up, in perfect agreement—if any relationship could last forever, it would be Kara and Lena’s.  Despite the skepticism initially shared by all of them, that a Luthor and a Super could ever fall in love, Kara and Lena defied the odds. 

Literally.  Maggie raked in mega dough from the betting pool.

As the night wears on a strange phenomenon occurs when Eve stops by their table to say hello and share a drink.  So long as Cat Grant’s not around, Eve’s the friendliest person next to Kara, openly affectionate, if a little too eager with the hugs and touches.  So it’s not unusual for her to pat your arm to make a point or drape her arm around your shoulders in commiseration.

Eve’s wedged between Kara and Lena for some unknown reason and it’s clearly not her first drink.

First it’s “Lena’s eyes are so pretty,” sighed with open admiration.  Then it’s a soft plea.  “Kara you’re so smart—will you teach me how to please Cat in case she comes back?”

Alex and Maggie smirk at each other.  It’s hard to say whose glaring harder at Eve. 

Lena’s further incensed at the thought of what ‘pleasing Cat’ might’ve entailed.

“$20 little Danvers breaks first,” Maggie murmurs in Alex’s ear.

Alex scoffs quietly.  “No way, Luthor’s about to crush her glass and spear Eve’s hand with the shards.”

It’s obvious to everyone except Winn, and apparently Eve, a jealous inferno’s burning in both women—each convinced Eve’s flirting with the other.

It ends abruptly when Kara uses her super-speed to return Eve to her friends—the ones she came with and should be hanging out with instead of spending her night caressing Lena’s tantalizing skin, the remembered flavor flooding unbidden in Kara’s mouth. 

It irked Kara to watch another woman, even one so clearly out of Lena’s league, touch Lena when Kara’d lost the right.

As the group lingers and the hour grows late, several women unmistakably hit on Kara.  Although Kara politely refuses all their advances, Lena’s jealous and angry, confused by her ex's response. 

“Time for another round of shots,” she shouts unexpectedly and heads to the bar before anyone disagrees.  There’re all too far gone to realize it’s a bad idea—a really bad idea.

When the next lonely woman looking for a hookup approaches Kara, Lena breaks and storms outside.  She needs air.  Oblivious to the turmoil strumming through her ex, Kara follows to make sure she’s alright.  She finds Lena pacing in the alley. 

“Lee, are you okay?  Do you feel sick?  I can take you home.”

Lena turns to her angrily.  “What the fuck Kara?!”

Kara’s taken aback by Lena’s fury and remembered betrayal shoots to the forefront of her mind, stoking Kara’s own anger.  “What the hell do you want from me Lena?!  You’re the one who cheated!  Should I crawl into a corner and stop living my life?!”

Lena snaps.  Kara’s words gasoline to her scorching emotions.  She yanks Kara aggressively until their bodies collide roughly.  Their kiss explodes—ravishing and passionate. 

Kara grips Lena’s neck and sucks possessively at her pulse-point.  It triggers the memory of that fateful night and Kara rips away, frantic in her rush to put space between them.

Lena reaches out tentatively, but Kara backs up, maintaining her distance.  Lena tries to apologize, but really what words would suffice?  Kara mistrusts her and Lena just keeps fucking it up, doing all the wrong things at all the wrong times.  So she runs.  Kara lets her.

 

* * *

 

Kara realizes she still enjoys unrestricted access to Lena’s office as Jess waves her through a few days later when Kara takes Lena lunch—a sort-of peace offering after the events at the bar.

“Kara,” Lena’s smile brightens guardedly, “what a pleasant surprise.”  Their stares linger suggestively until a throat clears and Lena remembers Sam’s still waiting to finish their meeting.

“Oh, I’m sorry.  Sam, this is my—” Lena momentarily blanks at her word choice, “—my friend, Kara Danvers.”

“Kara, we finally meet!”  Sam gushes.  “I’ve heard so much about you from Lena and I’m a huge fan!  You’ve done so much to humanize the alien community—it’s remarkable.”

Kara shakes her hand with a pleasant smile and Sam lingers a little too long for Lena’s liking.  She throws a wary glance at her CFO and starts to usher her out.  “We’ll finish this later Sam.”

“Oh okay,” Sam replies and turns to Kara even as Lena escorts her to the door. 

“Kara, maybe we could catch lunch later this week.  I’d love to get your take on the alien amnesty act.”

Lena doesn’t give Kara a chance to respond before she closes the door behind Sam.  “Sam will be too busy for lunch for the foreseeable future,” she informs Kara flatly.

Once they’re alone a heavy unease blankets them.  Neither one wants to be the first to broach last week’s drunken episode.  But Lena feels responsible for losing control of her emotions and basically jumping Kara in the alley.

“Kara, about the other night—”

“I know we need to talk about it Lena, but just—not now.  Please.” 

A moment later Lena bursts with feigned enthusiasm as she reluctantly focuses on her lunch.  “Kara, you went to my favorite sushi place!”

If Kara needs to pretend everything’s normal between them, then Lena will pretend.  She promised to give Kara whatever she needed and she intends to follow through—even if it kills her.    

Kara shrugs almost shyly.  “No biggie, it’s a pretty day and Chicago’s nice this time of year.”

Lena tries not to smirk or read too much into Kara’s willingness to fly half-way across the country to bring Lena her favorite lunch, but she’s only human.  “Well, so long as you enjoyed the weather,” she teases with a slightly cautious smile.

 

* * *

 

It’s a lazy Sunday morning and Alex and Maggie are lounging on the couch watching mindless television when Alex hits pause. 

“Kara’s miserable.” 

Maggie stares at her girlfriend for a second. 

“Lena’s miserable.”

They break out laughing, but it dies out quickly.  They’re not actually amused at the state of Kara and Lena’s relationship or friendship or whatever they’re calling this regression where they’ve gone back to friends who pretend they’re not in love with each other.

“I had to listen to Kara rant for an hour about Eve’s ‘inappropriate’ touching of Lena at the bar.  I was actually praying for a rogue alien to deliver me from the hell of that conversation.”

“Lena’s subtler, but not by much.  She wanted me to tell her all about Nebraska.  She’s thinking of opening another L-Corp branch.  I think she intends to send her CFO to run it.”

“I hope they come to their senses before all the sexual tension breaks them apart,” Alex hopes. 

It would be funny if the possibility weren’t all too real.  Kara and Lena barely overcame their fear of losing one another in order to declare their love the first time around—a fear that’s now magnified ten-fold with the pain of the break-up still fresh in their hearts.

 

* * *

 

Lena knows she needs to prepare for the upcoming board meeting, but she’s distracted by thoughts of Kara and the state of their fragile friendship.  Something that’s all too common these days.  She sighs and throws her pen on her desk in frustration.

She nearly jumps out of her skin when an alarm roars through the building.  It’s not a fire warning, but rather an urgent cry to evacuate the building.  Lena installed it when she upgraded the security in the building yet again after the latest assassination attempt.  She wanted to make sure her employees were not caught in the cross-fire during any attack.

A minute later security arrives, the trained bodyguards calmly urging her to escape down her private stairwell to the underground panic room.  Lena follows them, and her escorts flank her, making sure no one ambushes them from behind.  Lena's immediately short of breath, but she tells herself it’s from the stale air in the rarely used stairwell.  She will not have a panic attack now.  Luthor’s don’t panic.  They counter-attack.   

When the group reaches the lobby, Lena refuses to go any further, rushing inside to check on her employees.  A group of heavily armed men are terrorizing the people in the lobby, but their aim is not readily apparent.  They look human, but Lena spots an anndrannian photon cannon.  The weapon emits phased muon particles, potentially lethal even to Kryptonians.

Although Lena’s unaware, Supergirl’s engaged in a violent fight with a Tynolan.  The orange skinned humanoid’s holding a group of people hostage In Roulette’s former alien cage-fighting venue.  The Tynolan’s deity, Moxumbra the Star Serpent, demands living sacrifices and the hostile’s ready to worship.

But even after their break-up, perhaps even more so, Kara’s attuned for any trouble involving Lena.  It’s not her primary focus, but sits in the back of her mind ready to draw the hero’s attention.

She hears the moment the alarm goes off at L-Corp.  But leaving the Tynolan to murder his captives is not an option.  L-Corp employs a group of ex-military officers specifically to deal with the frequent attacks.  Kara prays to Rao Lena’s team can keep her safe until Kara arrives and redoubles her efforts.

 

Lena realizes Supergirl’s not coming.  Otherwise she’d already be at L-Corp confronting the latest threat.  But unbeknownst to Lena, another superhero is about to save the day.  It’s just the _wrong_ superhero.

Kate Kane observes stealthily from her temporary cover behind the L-Corp sign in the lobby.  She watches as three armed men menacingly approach a woman, one who’s not trying to flee but simply standing there with a stoic countenance.  Kate can’t help noticing she’s extremely attractive in a sharp, obviously designer, pant-suit.  She surmises the woman’s the CEO of the company, Lena Luthor.

As the men get closer Kate snaps out from under Lena’s spell.  Priorities.  Save the girl, then flirt.  Right.

She unleashes her batarang with an expert flick of her wrist and it ricochets off the gunmen’s weapon effectively disarming them.  She lunges, not giving them time to regroup.  Two minutes later the men are subdued and waiting for the DEO’s clean-up crew.

“Thank you for saving me again Su—wait you’re not Supergirl,” Lena blurts in surprise.

“Sorry to disappoint Ms. Luthor,” Kate replies as she subtly checks Lena out.

Lena Luthor’s one of the most stunning women she’s ever seen and she’s imprisoned when met by the full force of smoky-green eyes, the exotic black flecks within holding the light.  Lena stands with the confidence of a woman comfortable in her own skin and the air of measured brilliance.

She studies Kate and smiles professionally.  “Please, call me Lena—and I’m not disappointed, just taken-aback.  Usually it’s Supergirl doing the rescuing.”

Kate considers herself an expert at flirting with pretty women.  “I’m taking a break from Gotham and thought I’d help out—but I’m not sure you needed it, you seemed to be holding your own.”

Lena’s smile grows a little warmer at the subtle compliment.  She barks a short laugh— “Oh no, I did need help.  Self-defense training only takes me so far.”

“Maybe you’d be interested in krav maga lessons while I’m here,” Kate flirts a little more obviously, imagining all the opportunities to roam Lena’s body with skillful hands as she teaches.

“It uses simple and practical techniques of other fighting styles, but it’s wickedly effective.  It also emphasizes aggression, but somehow you strike me as the type of woman who can take charge in any situation.” 

Kate’s emboldened.  Lena hasn’t shut her down and although she’s been subtler than Kate, she seems to be curious. 

But Kate's not any better at reading Lena's poker face than anyone else.  Only Kara ever knows what's going on behind the CEO facade Lena wears like armor.  Lena may be curious, but not about Batwoman, per se.  She's curious about the sudden appearance of another superhero and what it might mean for National City.   

 

Kara knows Lena’s no longer in danger, but she’s still speeding to L-Corp.  She heard the entire and, in her opinion, inappropriate exchange between Lena and the mysterious woman who rescued her.  Someone who flirts with vulnerable people in high-stress situations lacks the necessary moral compass to be a hero.  But Lena won’t be the latest notch on her bedpost.  Kara promised to protect Lena and that’s what she’s going to do.

Before Kate can tempt Lena any further, Supergirl arrives, landing with more force than strictly necessary, shoulder back, chin jutted proudly.  She ignores Kate for the moment. 

“Lena!  I rushed here as soon as possible, I was—” Kara glances at Kate as if she’s just noticed the masked woman beside Lena.  “Oh—who are you?”

Kara feigns ignorance while she sizes up Kate.

Kate raises an eyebrow in clear irritation.  “Really Supergirl?  The bat on my chest didn’t clue you in?”

“Oh,” Kara replies casually, “you’re Batgirl.”

Kate rolls her eyes, hard.  She’s not sure if Supergirl’s serious of just messing with her.  The hero looks the picture of sunshine and honesty, but there must be steel under the suit.  Kate’s heard of the battles she’s won and the enemies she’s defeated.

So she suppresses her annoyance and answers with a faint smile.  “Guess again.  I’m Batwoman.  Batgirl wears purple.”

“Right—my mistake,” Kara offers insincerely.

Lena’s been watching the exchange with interest.  She knows it’s childish and maybe a bit unhealthy, but Kara’s possessiveness turns her on—a lot.  Especially now when they’re no longer in a relationship.  Kara’s still staking her claim and Lena knows it must mean something.  Something that maybe bodes well for their future.  

But Kate doesn’t give up so easily.  “Well, I handled the situation so feel free to fly off if you’re needed elsewhere.” 

The Super grits her teeth with indignation.  “I belong right here with Lena.” 

Lena decides to push things a little further and see how Kara reacts.  “I always appreciate your concern Supergirl, but really, I’m okay.” 

Kara flounders a bit.  “We still don’t know who sent the thugs, it may be Lillian or Lex and more may be on their way, or you might need me—”

She tries to shift the focus to a now smug Batwoman.  “Why are _you_ here anyway?” She snaps irritably.

Kate feigns innocence, attempting to placate the hero, holding her hands out like she’s dealing with a child throwing a tantrum.  “Even a hero needs a vacation.  I heard the siren and came to help.  It turned out to be a win/win for you and Lena.  I covered your ass and saved hers.”

Kara unmistakably bristles at Kate’s use of Lena’s name and the insinuation she likes Lena's ass.  An ass she has no right looking at or thinking about. 

If Kate didn’t know Supergirl could fling her into space or bury her in the center of the earth, she’d be outright laughing at the flustered hero.  But she does, so she keeps her eyes firmly in check instead of eyeing Lena’s ass like she wants.

Lena soothes Kara with a light touch on Kara’s tensed bicep.  “Really, we’re fine here.”

Kate interprets Lena’s words to the hero as an invitation.  Its clear Supergirl’s jealous, but equally clear she’s not Lois Lane’s Superman.

Kara huffs, but surrenders with as much grace as possible under the circumstances.  “Good night, Ms. Luthor.”

As soon as Kara walks away, Kate turns to Lena with a sardonic grin.  “She certainly seems—invested.”

“Yes,” Lena smirks.  She can’t resist messing with a smug Kate a little or Kara, whose been listening to their conversation.   

Kate’s body language and charming smile confirm what Lena knew the moment Kate uttered her first word.  Kate wants to fuck her.  “We’re not involved romantically, it that’s what you’re really asking,” Lena volunteers.

Oh yeah.  It’s exactly what Kate’s asking.  But it’s not like she can ask the Luthor on a date while still wearing her suit.  So when Lena turns to the front door, searching for something Kate can’t fathom, Batwoman seizes the opportunity and disappears into the shadows. 

Kate still peaks through the lobby side-window, not able to resist another glimpse of the breathtaking CEO.  She sees Lena sigh as she turns to the elevator and misinterprets.  She’s sure it’s her abrupt departure that upset Lena.  Lust surges from deep in her belly.  She just needs a plan—Kate’s a master at the game of seduction.  She’ll have Lena chasing her in no time.  No time at all.

It never occurs to Kate Lena wasn't searching for _something_ she was searching for _someone—_ the _right_ hero— _her_ hero.  Kara.  

 

* * *

 

Kate also underestimated the very single-minded and resolute superhero waiting in her hotel room.

Kara doesn’t often do threatening.  But for Batwoman she’ll make an exception.

“I don’t know your con or why you’re so interested in Lena, but you will stay away from her,” Kara growls.  “I will not let you hurt her.”  The threat’s all the more menacing because it’s delivered with steel instead of anger.

“I’m not afraid of you Supergirl.  Besides, Lena’s a grown woman.  It’s for her to decide what, or _whom_ , she wants,” she pushes back with a taunting smile.

Kara grabs her arm as Kate starts to brush past dismissively.  “Lena’s very important to me and I care about her deeply.”

Kate yanks her arm out of Kara’s almost painful grasp.  “Yet you’re not together—she told me so herself.  So if you want to stake your claim like she’s so much chattel, take it up with her.  But I will pursue her until _she_ tells me she's not interested.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Supergirl was absolutely fucking with Batwoman.


	6. Put What We Had Aside (I'm standing at her side)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...thank God  
>  Someone who understands what I’m  
> Struggling here to do
> 
> I’m not here for you
> 
> Put what we had aside  
> I’m standing at her side
> 
> \- The Reynolds Pamphlet, Hamilton

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I hate Olsen. I think he's a smug manipulator. Keep in mind, he's at least a decade older than any of the others. (He spent all that time with Clark in Metropolis. Superman was 24 when Kara arrived, so he's @ 34 now.) But instead of putting his friends' interests first, he's selfish and self-serving (UNLIKE Cat, for example, who despite her rough exterior genuinely looks out for Kara).

Kara knows she’s being irrationally possessive, above and beyond any role as Lena’s friend—the other night at the bar, their jealousy, and now Batwoman’s rescue, everything’s beyond complicated.  She regrets now avoiding talking things out with Lena when she’d tried the other day. 

They’re still very much in love with each other and it’s not likely to change anytime soon.

 

* * *

 

As she expected, she finds Lena still at L-Corp.  She lands softly on the balcony and takes a deep breath to center herself.  The sliding glass door stands open as if Lena’s expecting her.  Kara watches as the indomitable CEO reviews security footage on her laptop.

It’s not a particularly windy night, but they’re so high up, a gentle breeze flutters the loose strands of Lena’s ponytail against her elegant neck.

Lena heard Kara land and she studies her in the reflection of the computer screen.  She’d seen the news about Supergirl’s fight with the Tynolan.  She’d expected some rogue alien detained the Super; otherwise nothing would’ve kept Kara away once she heard the alarm at L-Corp.  Regardless of the status of their friendship/relationship, Lena’s absolutely certain Kara will always protect her.

“You know you don’t need an invitation to come in love,” Lena breathes softly.

She’s been deliberately refraining from using any terms of endearment for Kara since the break-up, but she’s done hiding how she feels.  She’d used them even before they’d started dating.  If Kara minds, she’ll have to ask her to stop.

Kara feels a sharp tug low in her belly as the word washes over her and she takes a second before stepping inside.  She sits on the couch, giving Lena a wan smile. 

Lena searches her eyes, in part hopeful and in part worried what comes next.  She joins Kara on the couch, leaving a small space between them.

Kara’s resting her elbows on her knees, staring at the floor.  Lena sits patiently, knowing Kara’s gathering her thoughts and more than willing to let Kara take the lead.

“Why weren’t you in the panic room Lee?”

The words immediately irritate Lena.  “You know me well enough to know I’m not leaving my employees in danger while I hide Kara,” she snaps.

“Then why’d you bother with the panic room?!”  Kara shouts, throwing her hands up as she starts to pace.

Lena’s expression hardens.  “I’m not doing this with you Kara.  You know I’ll do exactly the same next time.”

Kara stands with her back to Lena and takes a deep breath, exhaling slowly.  Lena’s right—Kara does know.  Lena’s fearless.  She’s also stubborn and indomitable and selfless and—Kara loves her for all of it.

She knows she’s stalling the inevitable—the actual conversation they need to have if they’re going to stay in each other’s lives in any capacity.

“Well, good thing your new favorite hero came along then,” she snaps childishly.  Kara berates herself internally.  It’s not what she meant to say, but now it’s out there. 

Lena grits her teeth, but she’s tired of always being the one to hold back—“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asks sharply.

“Don’t play coy Lena.  I heard your conversation with K—Batwoman.”

“Oh, and what exactly do you think you heard?”

“She was flirting with you!”  Kara finally looks at Lena, her fists balled at her waist.

Lena raises an eyebrow and smirks.  “I can’t control who flirts with me Kara.”

“You—you—” she sputters, “told her you were single!”

“Did I lie?”  Lena challenges.

“No, but—” Kara huffs.

Lena stands and glares, piercing green eyes trapping the superhero in place.

“I take full responsibility for what I did Kara—and I don’t blame you for ending our relationship.  But _you_ left _me_!  If you want me Kara, I’m right here, still in love with you—but I won’t let you keep punishing me or play martyr to your jealousy!”

“I’m not—”

“Go ahead Kara, finish your sentence,—lie to me—and to yourself!”

“You don’t even know her Lena!  She’s not exactly Gotham’s patron saint!  She could be up to anything!”

“Your point,” Lena asks sarcastically, crossing her arms in an effort to stop from shaking sense into the love of her life.

“You should stay away from her,” Kara implores.

“Her—or anyone showing an interest?”  Lena asks confrontationally.

Kara stands her ground, holding Lena’s gaze, but doesn’t answer.

“Tell me Kara, do you always super-speed your friends away from your ex?”

“Do you always storm off when people flirt with yours?”  Kara retorts.

“I doubt it—but since I’ve never stayed friends with one, I wouldn’t know.”  Lena mocks.  “Besides, of course I’m jealous!  I’m in love with you and I’d do anything for another chance—it’s not a secret!”

“Yet you didn’t discourage Batwoman when she so blatantly came on to you,” Kara points out self-righteously.  “You knew I was listening—”

“I did nothing to encourage it either.”

“Maybe, but you told her you needed help—you should take her up on her krav maga lessons.”

“That’s rich Kara!”  Lena sneers.  “At least you weren’t ambushed by a picture of me in another woman’s arms.”

“Lee—” Kara sighs apologetically.  “It didn’t occur to me they’d publish it—if it had, I wouldn’t have posed for it.  I would never intentionally hurt you.”

“Maybe—but you know who would hurt me intentionally Kara?  James—he brought me the paper and rubbed it in my face.  He made sure I knew you’d been on a date and how happy you seemed,” Lena snarls bitterly.

Kara freezes, blue eyes turning hot-red.  She takes a deep breath to reign in her heat-vision.  Her target’s not in the room.  “He did what?” she asks dangerously.

“I didn’t trust him, even with the photographic evidence.  So I called Maggie.  She told me your date went very well, but only after I pressured her.  She also told me you’d decided you weren’t ready to date, but it didn’t make it hurt any less Kara.”

Kara closes her eyes, genuinely wishing she would’ve spared Lena the pain caused by the ill-advised date.  “Lena—I should’ve said no.  It was a mistake.  I wanted to convince myself I could move on.  We met at the bar and James gave her my number, but I knew the moment we kissed—”

“Stop—!”  Lena barks.  She’s not going to stand here and listen to Kara tell her about kissing someone else.  She’s not a masochist.  

“You need to decide Kara—” she continues more evenly, “in or out?”

“Lena—”

“No Kara.  We need to take a step back and calm down.  We’ve been putting each other through an emotional wringer for weeks.  If we can only be friends, fine—but I’ll need some time and distance to gain a little perspective. 

Because I do want you—in my life and in my bed.”

She sighs and smiles gently—placing a lingering kiss on Kara’s cheek.  “Give it a few days—have dinner with me Friday.  I’ll cook.”

Kara wants to argue—she wants to settle things now, but she acquiesces and cups Lena’s jaw softly.  “Okay Lee.  I’ll see you Friday.  But please—call me if you need me.  Stay safe,” she whispers as she takes to the skies.

 

* * *

 

Kara’s learned the hard way not to land unexpectedly through Alex’s window, so she sends a text as she leaves L-Corp.

 

Kara:      Can I come over?

It’s takes a few minutes for Alex to respond.

Alex:      Yeah…just give us ten.

Nope.  Kara refuses to think about why they need 10 minutes.

 

She waits fifteen minutes just in case and finds Maggie and Alex lounging on the couch with beers in hand.

“Hey, little Danvers.”

“Hi Maggie.  I’m sorry to interrupt you guys.”

“It’s okay, we were finished,” she smirks just to watch the hero blush.

Alex swats her stomach.  “Is everything okay at L-Corp?  Is Lena safe?” she asks astutely.

“Yeah, yeah she’s fine.  Batwoman showed up and subdued the gunmen before I got there.”

Next to Alex, Maggie tenses. 

“Well well Sawyer, your ex is in town.  Anything you want to tell me?”  Alex asks with faux concern.  She absolutely trusts Maggie and if her lover knew, she’d have told her.

Oh.  Kara did not know Kate is Maggie’s ex—the one who cheated on her.

“No, but she never does anything without an ulterior motive.”  Maggie replies, shoulders now visibly tensed.

“She claims she’s here on vacation,” Kara jumps back into the conversation.

“Sure,” Maggie scoffs, “and I’m only here for the beer.”

Alex swats her again playfully, reassuring her girlfriend she’s not upset.  Maggie relaxes minutely.

Kara glosses over Kate’s flirting with Lena, but both Alex and Maggie read between the lines.

“I’ll try to find out why she’s here little D, but what’s this really about?” she asks bluntly.

Kara starts to offer a weak denial, but one look at Alex and she knows it’d be useless.  Her sister reads her like a book.

She finally tells them why she broke-up with Lena, glossing over the more salacious details of course.

Alex glances at Maggie.  “I’ll give you guys some privacy.”

“Maggie, please stay,” Kara asks before Maggie stands.

Maggie studies Kara.  “I’ll stay, but Lena’s my friend too and I won’t pull any punches,” she warns.

Kara nods in agreement.  “Good.”

“Kara you know no one holds you responsible for your actions when you’re on red-k—not even Lena.  You showed restraint this time, which helps too.  Supergirl didn’t lose the public’s trust or hurt anyone—at least not physically.”

“Maybe, but its cold comfort, Alex.  I hurt Lena.  Badly—and I ruined our relationship.”

“I know.  But I doubt you would’ve stayed so calm around anyone else.”

“Yeah,” Maggie interjects, “but Lena’s as much a victim of the red-k as you were Kara.”

Kara listens thoughtfully, considering Maggie’s words.

“You sought her out.  You made every effort to seduce her.  I’m not absolving her of responsibility.  She should’ve been strong enough to say no.  But let me ask you—did you know you were on red-k?”

Kara starts to deny it, but she knew.  She recognized the symptoms—but she liked it.  Just like the last time.  “I knew,” Kara whispers shamefully, looking at the floor.

“Did you tell her?”  Maggie asks, unrelenting.

“No.”

“So you tempted her, quite aggressively, and you withheld relevant information for her to make a choice.  Honestly Kara, I’d say consent was a bit dubious.  Not to mention, why exactly did you hide your secret identity from your best friend and girlfriend?  You should’ve told her a long time ago.”

“I have to agree with Maggie Kara.  At first J’onn and I were against it and we pressured you.  So did Winn and James.  But we relented months ago.  Lena earned our trust.  Even in the beginning, it was your choice.  Ultimately, it’s always your choice.  It’s your secret to tell.”

Kara knows her sister’s absolutely right.  Lena deserved to know a long time ago.

Anger suffuses Kara’s face at her sister’s mention of James.  Alex seems puzzled, but Maggie knows what Kara’s thinking.  Maggie might not know exactly what James did, but she suspects.  Alex looks between her sister and girlfriend in confusion, but then she thinks about James’ abrupt departure the night at the bar.

“What did he do and did you know?”  Alex asks Maggie.

“Not exactly.  Lena called me.  She didn’t specify, but asked if Kara was dating.  How else would she have known?  Lena doesn’t read the society pages.  So I confronted him that night and he justified his actions by saying he was doing them a favor—the whole cruel to be kind bullshit.  I told him to get lost or I’d tell you two what he’d done.”

Alex glares at her.  Maggie knows how protective she is of Kara.  Maggie grimaces.  “I know I should’ve told you.  I thought you’d ask again, but when you didn’t, I decided to let sleeping dogs lie.”

Alex lets it go for now.  She’ll berate her girlfriend later.  James will definitely be feeling her wrath—soon.

“So what are you going to do Kar?”

“I’ve been selfish and self-righteous.  I never considered Lena’s perspective.  I know you’re both right—intellectually—but I need to make sure I’m capable of leaving it in the past.  Otherwise, our relationship doesn’t stand a chance.”

 

* * *

 

Alex, Maggie, and Kara wake the next day determined to carry out their separate missions.

Maggie tracks Kate down at her hotel.  The brunette answers the door in nothing but a skimpy robe and Maggie rolls her eyes, storming past her without a second glance.  She’d long stopped being susceptible to Kate’s blatant attempts at seduction. 

“Come in gorgeous,” she quips sardonically.

“Cut the shit Kate.  Why are you here?—and don’t give me the vacation bullshit you gave Supergirl.”

Kate grins widely.  “News travels fast in National City.”

“I know you Kate.  You swing like a wrecking ball through people’s lives, not giving a second thought to the destruction you leave behind.  Why.  Are.  You.  Here?”  Maggie bites out.

“Oh relax, Mags,” Kate huffs dramatically.  “I’m just doing a favor for a friend.  Although I admit I may be staying in town longer than I’d originally planned,” she considers with a Cheshire grin.

“No, you’re not—and you _will_ stay away from Lena Luthor,” Maggie informs her flatly.

“Oh for heaven’s sake Maggie!  Is this the wild, wild west and the sheriff’s riding me out of town on a rail?”

“No.  This is me reminding you I know where your skeletons are buried.  So do whatever you want Kate—but don’t test me.”

Maggie speaks quietly without dramatics.  But Kate knows Maggie will follow through.  Maggie Sawyer will go to any lengths to protect the people she loves.

“Fine.  I’ll stay away from Lena.”

Maggie stares down her ex and Kate looks away first.  She leaves without another word.

 

* * *

 

Alex arrives at the DEO bright and early.  She finds J’onn in his office.  She marches in after a brief knock.

“Good morning Agent Danvers,” he greets with an imperceptible smile.  He immediately senses Alex’s mood, her mind practically shouting at him and quickly gets the gist of what James did and frowns.  He maintains his professional veneer and waits for Alex to speak.

“I’m revoking James’ access to the DEO and its resources.”

J’onn studies her carefully for a minute.  He should remind Alex personal issues should be left outside the DEO.  Alex waits impassively for his response. 

“Those decisions are within the purview of your responsibilities Agent Danvers—subject of course to my override.  I see no reason to question your judgment at this time.”

Alex knows J’onn can change his mind at any time, but for now she’s satisfied.  “Yes sir.” 

She heads to the control center to find Winn.  She grins wickedly.  James is there talking to Winn.  She walks over deliberately, ignoring James.

“Agent Schott.  Revoke Mr. Olsen’s access to the DEO and its resources.”

Winn starts to laugh, sure it’s a joke, but when he turns to Alex, he realizes she’s deadly serious. 

“Did I stutter Agent?”

“No—no.”  Winn avoids looking at his friend and turns to his terminal to carry out Alex’s orders.

“Agent Vazquez.  Please escort Mr. Olsen to the sidewalk.”

Vazquez approaches immediately and grabs James’ arm.  James yanks out of her grip and Vazquez draws her weapon.

He glares at Alex.  “You don’t have the authority, Alex,” he scoffs derisively.  “I want to speak to J’onn.”

“You’ll have to call him.”  She smartly snatches his access badge from his belt and nods to Vazquez.

Vazquez jams her gun into his back and he storms off to the exit with Vazquez following until he’s outside the building.

Alex turns to Winn.  “Do what you want on your own time Winn—but don’t let me catch you using DEO resources for Guardian related activity.  Am I clear?”

 

Winn swallows nervously and nods.  Once Alex returns to her office, he hides in the network room and calls James.

“Dude, what’d you do?!  I’ve never seen her so angry without Kara’s life being in danger.”

“I told Lena the truth—she had a right to know.”

“The truth?  About what?”  Winn asks with true confusion.

“I told her Kara was dating,” he answers nonchalantly.

“What?!  Why would you do that?!”

“Lena shouldn’t have to go through what I did with Kara,” like it should be obvious to Winn.

Winn’s a lot of things, and he completely understands James’ pain, he fell in love with Kara too once upon a time, but Winn’s not that guy.  He’s not the kind of guy who hurts a friend maliciously out of his own bitterness.  Kara didn’t lead them on in any way.  Kara—who went out of her way to be honest, yet incredibly kind.  She _invented_ letting people down gently.

“You don’t even like Lena.  Why would you worry about sparing her any pain?”  Winn asks incredulously.

“Don’t tell me you’re taking their side bro?”

“It’s not about sides—look I have to go.”

 

* * *

 

Kara spots James the minute he exits the elevator.  She waits until he’s inside his office and then follows.

“I need to speak with you James.” She tells him neutrally.

“Look Kara—” he sighs, but Kara’s already outside on the balcony.

He joins her at the railing.  Kara gazes out at the city, not sure she can look at the man who she’d thought was a friend, who she’d thought she’d loved.

“You manipulated me James.  You gave Jordan my number,” she starts.

“I didn’t make you go out with her Kara,” he defends himself.

“You’re right.  It was my decision.  But that’s not what I meant—you know what I did this morning?” she asks rhetorically. 

“I contacted the photographer who was credited with the photo.  He says you’ve known each other since Metropolis and you asked him for a favor.  How did you even know about the photo James?” 

She turns to him with a hurt, yet disgusted look.  “Why did you do it?—and why did you go to Lena to make sure she saw it?”

“Look Kara—I’ve been your friend for a lot longer than Lena.  I warned you she would hurt you.  I don’t know what she did, but I’m sure she finally showed her true colors if you broke up with her.”

Kara shakes her head and stares at him incredulously.  “You’re right—you know nothing about me and Lena or our relationship.  You’re not my friend James.  You’re not even the man I gave you credit for being.

“Look Kara, I’m your boss—so—”

“No James—you’re not.  Snapper’s my boss and I have a contract.  Cat made sure I was protected before she left.”

“She’s going to hurt you Kara.  She’s just like Lex—she’ll turn on you—”

Kara leaves him sputtering impotently behind her.

 

 


	7. Forgiveness (can you imagine?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Forgiveness  
> Can you imagine?  
> Forgiveness  
> Can you imagine?
> 
> \- It's Quiet Uptown, Hamilton

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! We've come to the end. An incredible THANK YOU to everyone who stuck with me through all my technical difficulties! 
> 
> Feed the author! <3 <3 <3

Kara knocks on Lena’s door, nervously clutching a bouquet of plumerias.  “Hi Lee,” she smiles softly.

Lena smiles and tugs her inside, taking the flowers.  “They’re beautiful darling.  Thank you.” 

Kara follows her into the kitchen and watches while Lena finds a vase for the flowers.  Lena’s barefoot and dressed casually, hair loose and no make-up.  Kara loves Lena like this—soft and relaxed.  She’s hot and sexy in her CEO power-clothes, but dressed comfortably, at home in her own space, she’s open and vulnerable in a way she never allows outside these walls.

“I have some appetizers set out in the living room and I just put the lasagna’s in the oven—it’ll be ready in about 50 minutes.”

“Thank Rao!”  Kara exclaims.  “I’m starving.”

 “You don’t say,” Lena teases as they settle in the living room.

Lena prepared the homemade potstickers Kara loves as well as some fruit and cheese.  Kara stacks her plate high and Lena laughs affectionately.

“So how was the rest of your week?”  Lena asks.

Kara shrugs, non-committal, but Lena arches an eyebrow telling Kara she better try again.

“There was some drama at CatCo, no serious emergencies for Supergirl and mostly Alex and I caught up on some of our shows.”

“Did Snapper reject another article?”

Kara could just nod and let it go, but it’s not Snapper’s drama she meant.  “No he must’ve been in a good mood—he only called me ponytail once and insulted my spelling less than usual.  Mostly he grumped under his breath.”

“So the drama?”

“I confronted James.”

Lena almost tells Kara she can fight her own battles, but what he did affected her too, so she nods instead.

“It turns out he was responsible for the photo being published.  He called in a favor with a friend.  I still don’t know how he even knew about the photo.  It seems logical Jordan must’ve told him about our date, but I doubt she knew what he was up to.  She seemed genuine.”

Lena’s not surprised in the slightest James would go to such lengths to hurt them, but she’s not going to let them get side-tracked with anymore talk about the infamous date or Batwoman.  She’s seen and heard enough and it’s irrelevant.

Kara seems to be on the same wave-length, because she changes the topic.  “Did you ever figure out what the gunmen wanted?”

“No,” Lena sighs.  “The security tapes just show them bursting in and firing into the ceiling while they terrorized the people in the lobby.  They were carrying assault rifles, but at least one of them was carrying an anndrannian photon cannon.  They didn’t attempt to go anywhere else in the building.  Maybe I made it downstairs so quickly and I was their target, so they didn’t need anything else.  Or maybe they needed me to access something in the labs, but they were subdued before they said anything to me.”

“Lena, where was your security?”

“What do you mean?”

“The security team that’s supposed to get you out of the building safely—where were they?  I understand you refused to go to the panic room, but they should’ve stayed with you.”

Lena looks at her thoughtfully.  “They came to my office and escorted me down the stairwell when the alarm went off, but in the chaos I’m not sure where they went.  I can’t believe it didn’t occur to me to question it, even when I reviewed the security footage.  They definitely didn’t follow me into the lobby.”

“Well, at best they’re incompetent and you should fire them or at worst they were somehow involved.”

Lena sighs.  “I refuse to think about L-Corp until Monday.”

“You’re not going to the office this weekend?  At all?”  Kara asks incredulously.

Lena grins.  “No.  I need a break…besides; I’m hoping to spend the weekend with someone special.”

“Oh?”  Kara feigns ignorance.  “Who with?” she asks playfully.

“The most important person in my life, actually,” Lena segues.  She’s not willing to awkwardly skirt the issue of their relationship a moment longer.

Kara blushes, setting her plate on the coffee table and taking Lena’s hand in hers.

“I owe you an apology Lena.  I talked with Maggie and Alex and realized I never stopped to think about how my actions affected you that night.”  Kara glances away for a moment before continuing. 

“I should’ve told you a long time ago about Supergirl—and I knew I was under the influence of red-k that night.  I didn’t tell you so your consent—”

Lena shushes her with a finger on her lips.  “Don’t go there love.  I knew something was off with Supergirl.  She’d—well you—had never been anything but respectful and professional until that night.  I saw the flash of red in your eyes, but didn’t think to question it.  You also gave me several opportunities to say no or stop.  I’m a big girl Kara—consent was never an issue.”

Kara lets it go even though she’s not sure she agrees.  “I blamed you and ignored my own responsibility for what happened—I was so self-righteous in my anger.  I also shouldn’t have stormed off that night—or at least not ended it until we’d both had a chance to think and discuss it.  You tried to explain and I ignored you.  I was wrong Lena and it shouldn’t have taken me this long to figure it out.”

“So what are you saying Kara?”  Lena asks calmly—she’s not making any assumptions.

“I’m saying I should’ve never let you go.  I’m saying I’m in love with you Lena Luthor and I want us to try again.  If you’re willing—of course, b—”

Lena smiles and cuts her off with a kiss before Kara starts rambling.  “Of course I want to try again love.”

 

They eat dinner with shy glances and small touches, almost like it’s their first date.  Kara cleans up since Lena cooked and when she’s done, she finds Lena in front of the floor to ceiling windows, staring at the night sky.

Kara pulls her close and captures her mouth softly, their moans imbuing the suddenly warm air.  They stand savoring each other in the moonlight streaming through the window.

Lena thinks it’s the sexiest thing in the world, her hands carding through Kara’s wavy hair, stroking strong shoulders and muscled biceps.

Kara lightly rubs her cheek with caring fingertips, slowly sliding her tongue along Lena’s lips and into her mouth.

“ _God, I’ve missed you so much Kara,_ ” Lena whispers as they draw apart, foreheads touching. 

She nibbles at Kara's neck just behind her ear and Kara lets out a low moan.  Encouraged, Lena begins trailing kisses down her jaw—she places her fingers on the first button of Kara’s shirt and looks up tentatively for permission.

Kara smiles softly and Lena unbuttons her blouse with care as she captures her lips, nipping gently, simultaneously unclasping her bra.  Her mouth goes dry as she gazes at Kara’s firm round breasts and blush-pink nipples begging for attention.

Kara can’t wait anymore, she wants Lena in bed and guides them to the bedroom, trailing clothes as they go, but staying in her sexy boy shorts.  They fall onto the bed together. 

“ _Kara, I want to make love to you—please darling—_ ”  Kara pulls Lena on top, placing slow, hot kisses along her jaw and to her ear, nipping at her lobe, her hot breath whispering, “ _yes—yes—yes—_ ” each word punctuated by light licks along the ridge of Lena’s sensitive ear.

Lena runs her teeth along Kara’s collarbone, thrilling in Kara’s sharp inhale.  Her hot tongue traces around Kara’s pebbly aureoles, flicking occasionally over the hard nubs. 

Kara feels an insistent throb between her legs and arches into Lena, chasing much needed friction.  “ _Rao Lena—I’ve missed your touch—_ ”

Lena tastes her way down Kara’s body patiently, wondrously, exploring the body she knows better than her own.  Soon her lips are nibbling through Kara’s shorts, her warm breath washing over Kara.  “ _Lena_ ,” Kara whimpers, “ _take them off…_ ” 

Lena smiles mischievously, but slides the shorts off without too much teasing.

She comes to her knees between Kara’s legs and admires Kara’s body, from her muscled biceps to her ripped abs, to the small triangle of short curls just above her sex.  “ _You really are a goddess Kara…_ ” she whispers in awe. 

Kara pulls her down, running her fingers through raven locks, losing herself in burning green flames—“ _then come worship me_ ”

Kara’s words send a chill down Lena’s spine.  It’s so hot, when Kara talks to her like Lena belongs to her—staking her claim imperiously.

She crawls down Kara’s body again, letting her fingertips trail every inch of skin in her wake.  When she reaches Kara’s center, she tugs on the short curls and Kara inhales sharply.

She’s been addicted to Kara’s spicy arousal since the first time they slept together.  Kara’s skin smells like sun-kissed grass, but her arousal…her arousal smells like the rushing tide.  She grips the v of Kara’s hips loosely as she takes a broad, firm lick between her folds, feeling Kara’s soft outer lips opening under her tongue.  She dips inside teasingly and Kara fists the sheets tightly.

“ _Lena,_ ” she gasps, “ _please—_ ” 

Kara cuts off with a surprised little noise as Lena’s thumb finds her clit, lashing it lightly.  She shudders intensely, her arms relaxing momentarily – just long enough for Lena to lose herself in the sweet, silky feel of Kara's slit on her tongue.

" _Kara, I want be inside you—_ " she murmurs, and before Kara can respond, she lashes her tongue over Kara’s bare clit, feeling her it harden under her tongue.  She flutters her tongue and Kara’s chest heaves with anxious, excited breaths, staring down at Lena.  “ _Take me—Lena—now—_ ” she demands.

Lena’s licks dwindle gradually and Kara’s shudders as her eyes drift closed.  “ _Please zhao, inside…_ ”

Lena pushes inside her lover and Kara growls, “ _oh Rao!  Yes!_ ” 

Lena burrows deeper, swirling her tongue lightly around Kara's clit, holding in a moan as Kara's deep tangy flavor coats her tongue.  She rubs from side to side, exploring every little nook and cranny, paying attention to Kara’s every gasp and moan.

Kara's gasping with small jolts of pleasure.  “ _Harder!  More!_ ” 

Lena finds Kara’s lips, claiming them in passionate frenzy, using her hips to thrust harder and faster, her thumb tapping Kara’s clit with every controlled thrust, moaning at Kara's heady taste flavoring their kiss. 

Kara meets every thrust, grunting softly and gasping for breath.

Lena lets the pads of her fingers graze Kara’s g-spot again and her lover starts thrashing— “ _That’s it love, come for me—_ ” 

Lena lets her thrusts trail off gently and Kara’s orgasm covers her in gentle waves of pleasure, her body going totally limp.  “ _I love you Lena, always…_ ” 

They lay in each other arms, their breaths slowly returning to normal.  Kara holds Lena and knows she’s made the right decision.  She also knows Lena deserves another apology.

“Lena…”

“Hmmm?”

“We need to talk.”

“Darling those are decidedly the four most dreaded words in the English language.”  Lena's tone is light, but it’s interlaced with worry.

“Poor choice of words; what I mean is you deserve an apology, for that night.  I’m sorry for the way I treated you—at your office, when we—”

“Fucked,” Lena finishes plainly.

“Yeah.  I love you and I never should’ve disrespected you.  _Rao_ , the way I talked to you—I’m so ashamed Lena.”

Lena considers her next words carefully.   

“Kara, setting aside the red-k and identity issues, you gave me exactly what I wanted that night—rough and dirty.  I know we’re still exploring sexually, but you know I like rough sex occasionally and certain kinks.  The actual sex, including your words, didn’t hurt me.  I loved everything about it.”

“Maybe,” Kara starts uncertainly.  “But how do I know?  How do we find the line?”

“Kara, I’m certainly open to exploring anything you want in our bed.  We just need to communicate honestly and openly.  I know expressing your deepest desires embarrasses you.  So maybe you can text me?  Or leave me a note—just until you’re more comfortable discussing them.

I want to fill your every need darling, your every desire.  I want the same for myself, but I never want you to do something you’re not comfortable with for any reason.  We need to trust each other.  At any moment you have the right to stop whatever’s going on, as do I.  No exceptions.”

Kara nods thoughtfully.  “I’ve never been with anyone where any of this mattered.  I’m not sure why.  Sex was just plain vanilla and I confess, many times I just got my partner off and didn’t want or need reciprocation.  I used to think it was due to the culture on Krypton.  Sex wasn’t required for procreation and intellect was valued above pleasure.

But, Rao Lena—ever since we met—the things I’d like to do to you, with you—have you do to me.”  Kara blushes and her face turns hot, so she covers her face with a pillow.  Lena smiles tenderly as she tugs on the pillow until Kara look at her again.

“Darling, there’s nothing wrong with any of it—‘vanilla’ sex or no sex or only certain types or only kissing.  There are many types of genders and sexual identities Kara and they are all equally valid.  But I will admit—I really want to explore all these ‘ _things’_ you’re thinking about,” Lena purrs wickedly. 

Suddenly there’s a gleam in Kara’s eye she’s never seen before.  Kara climbs her body, “ _my turn,_ ” she grins seductively. 

Kara intends to pleasure Lena until she’s begging Kara to let her come.

She nips and licks at Lena’s heated skin, feeling her shudder, working her way to Lena’s inner thighs and her slit maddeningly-methodically.  Lena’s dripping wet and Kara moans throatily at the feel of the slick on her tongue.  Slowly, she surveys the lush landscape of Lena’s body.

Lena allows it patiently, only giving away her need with uncontrollable gasps and sighs.  Kara continues her loving study, finding all Lena’s tremble-sites, gasping zones, and the ones provoking lurid moans and sharp breaths.

“ _Kara_ —”

Kara feels Lena’s fervent shudder ripple through her body when she licks into Lena’s velvety, slick center and fully envelops her sex, lips teasing and caressing her slit as her tongue bathes and drinks her heady arousal.  She redoubles her efforts, driving Lena mad with longing.

“ _Oh my god Kara!_ ”

Kara drifts teasingly towards Lena’s clit, drawing it lightly into her mouth and pressing her tongue against it. 

Lena gasps, “ _Oh fuck!_ ” as her hips jerk.

“ _Yes Lena?_ ” 

Breathless to the edge of incoherence Lena implores a penitent to her goddess.  “ _Please Kara—let me come!_ ” 

Kara sucks leisurely, tantalizing the sensitive bud, stroking softly in syncopate rhythm, leaving Lena no choice but to chase her orgasm,  eyes shut tight, muscles clenched.  Colors explode behind her eyelids and she shatters.  Kara gentles her through her orgasm, immediately coaxing her to the apex of her next. 

She lovingly strokes gentle fingertips through swollen folds, joining her tongue in teasing traces over Lena’s hood. 

“ _Please love—_ ” Lena struggles to focus on Kara.

Kara laps at her clit faintly, determinedly pushing inside Lena’s engorged sex and Lena bites down hard on her lower lip, whimpering throatily.  Kara now craves the sound, eagerly plunging an added finger into a sucking slit, drawing more of them from Lena’s wanton mouth.  “ _Yes!—don’t stop!_ ”

Lena’s hips twist subtly and Kara withdraws, sucking Lena’s enigmatic taste from her fingertips as Lena watches.  Kara ends the licentious show by pushing inside, fucking her shamelessly, dragging against responsive inner walls, relentlessly seeking every sensitive spot.

Lena groans hungrily and throws her head back while tangling her hand in Kara’s sex-mussed hair, pulling harshly.  Kara loves the way Lena sucks her inside, lolling her head across the pillow, shuddering her moans with each thrust. 

“ _Take me Kara—please love—!_ ”

Lena’s groans explode when a third digit sneaks inside, massaging along her inner walls, twisting and spreading, scissoring, ruining her for any other.  “ _Please Kara—don’t stop—_ ”

Kara purrs at Lena’s throaty growls of pleasure.  “ _Rao Lena, you’re so wet for me—so fucking tight!_ ” 

Lena quakes and grips the headboard, wide open for her lover. 

Kara lunges and claims Lena’s lips, scraping teeth along her jaw, biting sharply on her pulse-point, while still fucking the exquisitely brazen woman beneath her. 

“ _Tell me_ ” she whispers hotly into Lena’s ear.

Lucidity is nothing but a spec in Lena’s rearview mirror, but she pants out her burning desire.  “ _I want your marks—all over—my body!_ ” 

The words skim along Kara’s skin, fanning fiery heat into roaring blaze.  She sucks at Lena’s neck harder—struggling to suppress her power.  She leaves sharp bites on the underside of magnificent breasts, thrilling every time Lena screams her name. 

Lena’s begging unintelligibly and Kara pulls out abruptly, using her super-speed to flip Lena, fucking her from behind powerfully, flush against Lena’s back.  She sucks harshly at Lena’s tempting shoulder, rubbing her g-spot with inhuman speed as Lena thrusts back uncontrollably against her hand. 

Kara grips Lena’s shoulder, bracing against her sinful ass, pumps mercilessly.  “ _Rao Lena!  Say my name—say it and I’ll hammer you over the edge—let me hear you—_ ”

“ _Kara—!_ ”

Kara drives into her ruthlessly and Lena roars out her orgasm, soaking Kara’s hand _and_ the Egyptian sheets.

Kara places soft kisses over her back and shoulders, whispering softly in her ear.  “ _I love you Lena.  Always.  I’m right here.  I’m yours zhao._ ” 

Kara keeps murmuring her love, one cautious finger moving slowly and lightly against Lena’s g-spot again.  Lena whimpers and Kara stills instantly.  “Is it too much?”

Lena shifts and Kara follows her lead, until Lena tucks into a baby spoon.  “ _Soft and slow love.  Please._ ”

“ _Of course, however you want it—_ ” 

Kara assures her with tender kisses as they rock quietly against each other.  “ _You’re the one for me Lena Luthor.  I will always protect you, always love you, always defend you—I promise.”_  

Lena comes quietly, her body fluttering, closing her eyes, sighing into sleep.

Kara worships her silently, achingly beautiful in all her naked glory.

 

* * *

 

Kara wakes to the smell of bacon and pancakes, her stomach rumbling loudly in both complaint and approval.  She finds Lena in the kitchen pouring coffee into mugs, the table set and loaded with food.  Kara hugs her from behind, nuzzling her neck, breathing her scent deeply into her lungs.  “Mmm.  I’m going to love waking up with you every morning—you smell better than the bacon!”

Lena squeezes her hand with a smile as she glances back.  “You’re just hungry.” 

Before Kara can protest, loud rumbling roils through the room.  Lena laughs while Kara takes a seat with a mock pout.  “Well yes, but the two aren’t mutually exclusive you know.”

Kara stuffs her mouth with three pancakes and a few strips of bacon, moaning ecstatically.

A cautious look steals over Lena’s face as she watches Kara.  Kara notices and puts her fork down, taking a sip of her coffee.  “I meant it Lena.  I want to live with you.  I think we should get our own place.  Only if you agree of course.  Maybe you don’t want to anymore or it’s too soon and now I’m ranting—stop me please.”

Lena links their hands.  “Darling I’ll never change my mind.  I’m in it.  With you.  Forever.”

“Me too Lena.  With you, I mean,” she giggles.

Lena laughs musically.  “I love you Kara Danvers.”

“Oh, uh, actually,” Kara blushes.  “It’s Kara Zor-El.  My name I mean…my Kryptonian name.”

“In that case, yes, I would be honored to live with you Kara Zor-El.”  Lena smirks.  “So does this mean we’re girlfriends again?”

Kara rolls her eyes and goes back to stuffing her face.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case any of you are type A (like me), I did make minor, but significant changes to chapter 5. It makes it clear Lena's not interested in Batwoman and she's not flirting, just pushing against Kara's resolve to keep them apart.


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